A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, a friend of mine is being in relationship for almost 5 years. My friend, who is a she, is turning 19 this year and her bf is 22. Their relationship isn't going smooth. Her bf was being unfaithful to her once in the past but she has forgiven him. She got slapped by him twice but she said he did it because he loved her. They quarrel quite frequently. They broke up and patched back so many times in the past. She says whenever she had enough of him, she wants to end the relationship but her bf wouldn't let her go. She says he is possessive and controls her. She keeps forgiving him thinking he might change but ends up breaking up and patching back again. Sometimes, she changes her relationship status to 'single' on Facebook but her bf will demand her password to change it back to 'in a relationship'. This is her first bf. She admits he is psycho and insane about her. She has being emotionally hurt a few times because of this relationship. Is this really a unhealthy relationship? why can't she just break up even after knowing what she has went through in the past and there's is still quarreling going on in between them? Why is she keep on going back to him when she knows she has already went through emotional hurt a few times because of this relationship? Will this relationship last till marriage? To me, she deserves someone better but why she still goes back to him after so much of hurtful moments? I'm worried about her.
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female
reader, brigid.imagine  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Unfortunately she's probably in that trap of thinking that the bad is worth the good;it makes it all to easy to get sucked back in. All i can say is voice your concerns, and tell her you're willing to support her if she wants out. However, it'll need to be a completely clean break. Which is going to be very,very difficult for her; but its better than her waking up one day married to a physically and emotionally abusive husband. If she really wants out, she'll get it. Goodluck to you both, i don't envy you!
A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Yes it is an unhealthy relationship. She stays with him because she has little or no self-esteem. She thinks his jealous, controlling behaviour means he cares about her. She does not see that she deserves to be in a loving relationship with someone who will love and respect her.
Until she realises she is worth more, she will continue to be with this man and there is little anyone else can do. You sound like a caring friend but you have to let her get on with her life but be there for her if and when the relationship ends for good.
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