A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know it is really non of my buisness but iam really worried about my friend. shes 14 and she met an 18 year old guy in the chat rooms. she meets him every day after school and he forces her to have sex withhim. i once followed her home from school with him when he picked her up. he hit her!!!. she always comes to school with bruises but she never talks about him or anything that happens. you probs dont think im a good friend for been so nosey but im soo worried about her anyone have any ideas.
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female
reader, ruth2203 +, writes (4 April 2007):
i was hit by a man and you know what i wished i had a friend like you ! tell her he might do some thing real bad x
A
female
reader, Patient1  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 You are a good friend because you are concerned about her. If you didn't care then I would question if you are a good friend or not. You should just casually bring it up in conversation. Ask her how she thinks the relationship is going. If she doesn't offer any information about the abuse then just tell her that you witnessed him hitting her and you've noticed all the bruises and that you are very concerned for her safety. When you're dating that young I think you tend to ingore the bad things becuse you're so consumed with being involved in your first (or one of your first) real relationships. She needs to know that if she doesn't stand up for herself and get out of this abusive relationship then she may be one of those girls who end up dead at a very young age. I learned the hard way that no matter how much you may love someone, your well being comes first. If she allows the abuse to continue, it will, and it will only get worse. If she gets mad at you for being concerned about her life then she may not be as good of a friend as you are. Or she's just so consumed with this guy that she's not thinking clearly. I would let her know that you are concerned but don't be demanding. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Hi, I don't think you're being nosy. You're looking out for your friend and that's what friends are for.
This guy that she has gotten together with is no good for her. He's actually committed several crimes already: he had sex with a minor, it was forced sex, and he has hit her.
No woman should be hit by her partner, and definitely not your friend who is not even 18. Because of this guy your friend must have had an awful introduction to being a woman, and when a man beats his partner there's a very big chance that the violence will escalate and something very ugly will happen to her.
You need to tell her parents, or talk to your mother and ask her to talk to your friend's parents. Most likely they will pay attention to what you're saying, but if for some reason they don't: then at least talk to the nurse at your school.
I know this is really difficult for you: you probably feel as if you're betraying your friend's trust, but keep in mind that you are actually trying to save her from getting hurt. You're very brave to seek help for your friend. She might not thank you for it now, but she will be grateful later.
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