A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship with an amazing and extremely attractive woman. We have spent a number of weeks together in person now in the real world, and I would definitely say we understand each other very well and are very comfortable with one another. The thing is, we are both virgins and have yet to make love to one another, and we haven't really talked about it either. She drops hints from time to time, but I'm worried that she might think that I don't have any interest in making love to her, as my body doesn't seem to respond to her whenever we're together. Before anyone questions my attraction to her, I think she's absolutely gorgeous and I'm madly in love with her, and when we are apart, it drives me crazy thinking about her, and I do get a solid erection during these times, although I only really get a slight erection whenever I'm with her in person. I'm just hoping that she hasn't noticed the lack of an erection and she secretly feels upset and unattractive because of this. Advice would certainly be appreciated.
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both virgins, erection, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2014): Hi all,
I am the original poster, and I just wanted to thank everyone for the help. I am hoping that all the advice will help my body better respond to her next time I see her.
Thanks again
A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (31 May 2014):
 Hi,
There are always nerves when meeting new people, that's just anxiety about how she will like it, how long you will last etc.
None of that really matters when you are with that person, she will also have anxiety about things in her own head. Just take it easy and don't over think things.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (30 May 2014):
 As others have said...Nerves. Once she touches you down South, you will be erecting a new flag pole. Also, do not be upset if you finish fast...it's your first time.Remember this... You were given two hands, lips, and a tongue...use them... and use them well Grasshopper. :) A woman's body is loaded with "mmmmm" spots. Find hers :)Do not just stick it in there and hump like an animal. The penis is there to finish her off, not start her up. Her "mmmm" spots will do the starting for you. If you don't go after the "mmmm" spots, she will most likely out last you every time. In case you are wondering why I call them "mmmm" spots...That's the sound most women will make if you lick it, touch it, squeeze it, rub it, or sex it just right. Don't take my word for it. :)
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (30 May 2014):
You're nervous. It happened to me I the beginning too.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 May 2014):
 OH! I almost forgot...yes, it's her first time, but be very gentle. Go slow. Bring protection and lots of lubricant. However anxious you are, she will be moreso.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 May 2014):
I have very good news for you.
You have classic performance anxiety, which is common but not spoken about. I'm also not making any claims you didn't clarify in your post, but I don't know your masturbatory habits, nor do I know your porn appetites.
You're worried about whether she will be disappointed with you, or with your skill, or with the size of your manhood, and a number of worries when it comes to your eventual first sexual encounter. The problem with that is that performance anxiety is a spiral. You fear, which makes you soft, which makes you fear more, which makes you softer, which makes you fear more...and on and on.
The very good news is that there's an easy way out of this for you. You have to step outside of yourself, and think not about YOUR performance, but how much you love her, and how desirable she looks to you. The moment you take yourself out of the equation is the moment you will become rock hard and urgent to express your love for her, because SHE needs to be your focus, and not yourself.
I mentioned porn and masturbation because that also affects your sexuality. Too much or too soon, and you're the like the guy who shows up at a wedding banquet right after eating a huge meal. In other words, it saps your appetite and your sexual strength, so if you're going to visit her, then go without until you've conquered your anxiety.
Like I said, you'll be okay as long as you get yourself out of the equation.
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