A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a loving relationship with a wonderful man but he smokes weed and says he has urges to smoke often, how can I get over it and simply love him? I don't want to change him or control him but i have a bad history with weed and the men in my life, every time he's high i instantly become very emotional... I want him to do whatever makes him happy but i don't know how to be happy about him doing it... i used to smoke, i loved it for a time but grew out of it. Sometimes I feel I should start smoking again with him but then i feel I shouldn't have to change my actions just because of his right? Any advice? Am I just over reacting? how do i let it go?
View related questions:
smokes Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (3 September 2010):
 First of all, there is nothing you can do about this situation unless HE truly wants to change it for himself.
He may not see anything wrong with it. He doesn't see any negative consequences coming to him, and so don't see that it is any harm.
I totally understand. My boyfriend had the same problem and I knew it wasn't good for him. It finally took his own realization that it was causing him to think in a way he didn't want to think. He didn't like that he was emotinally dependant on it. He didn't like that when things got tough, that was the first place he went to for comfort. So he stopped.
It wasn't me asking him to quit, although I'm sure that made him think about it more. In the end, it was his choice and no one else's. I'm afriad this is probably the case with your boyfriend.
As for smoking with him, don't change into a person you don't want to be. If you want to smoke weed out of your own want, go for it. But don't change yourself because of his bad habbit. Ultimatly, it will only leave you feeling worse and you will be untrue to yourself.
Best of luck,
Katy.
|
