A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiJust looking for advice. My boyfriend once admitted to me that he occasionally (one every week or two) masturbates to a handful of girls he knows - one of these girls he slept with a couple of times a few years ago. But they've known each other a long time. It was a drunkenfling a couple of times and they are more like friends who have a quick chat every now and again (hi how are you keeeping kind of thing). I told him I was uncomfortable about him wanking to a girl he's slept with and he said ok.. he wouldn't do it again - that was three months ago. I wasn't as concerned about the other girls as hes only friends with them on Facebook as aquantances. He just thinks they are pretty. While I still find it creepy, it's just what he does. He uses porn mostly he says but sometimes it gets boring and that's why he'd look up women he knows)He had my laptop the other day (often does) but I noticed her name (girl he had fling with) come up in my search bar so I went into the history. We had had a n argument ... Purely early morning grumpiness on both parts. I left for work and he had looked her pics up on Facebook. I'm struggling as to whether I should care too much about this or not? He has a little bit of a fuck you attitude when it comes to fights. I thought maybe he was looking her up to masturbate to after we argued. Should I worry????? I don't want to waste unneccesay energy worrying but I'm not sure if it is something I should be concerned about or not. Everything else between us is great ...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): Wow . I'm sorry but I simply can't imagine why any woman would want to be with a guy who wanted to jerk off to other women he knew . That's totally disrespectful to you . You can do sooooooo much better
This isn't even worth the argument and I'm sorry to sound harsh but he isn't worth your wasted breath. Find a guy who believes your worth more and treats you with an ounce of respect
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014): Wow - no this is awful behaviour. I wonder how he would feel if you were getting off on your ex's every other week. Maybe pin a picture of your ex to the fridge and kiss it every time you shut the fridge door. Only do it for a laugh though coz you need to leave him and soon. How degrading towards you - abusive in fact. He has no boundaries - how long before masturbating becomes more, if its not already. I would get out of that relationship and find a man with a decent attitude towards women. Given your profile age I am assuming his age is similar? He is acting like a 16 year old. Yuk yuk yuk.
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (20 October 2014):
 Is this your only problem? That he enjoys masturbating to other girl's photos?
You really need to think about it and consider whether you have other issues with this guy and if they can be worked out.
I personally cannot and will not accept my boyfriend masturbating to another girl he know's photo. It's disrespectful to me.
If this is really your ONLY problem, and your relationship is otherwise a wonderful one. Then I would suggest to have a serious talk with your boyfriend. Let him know it's a NO to masturbating to other females he knows. To porn, maybe... otherwise, NO. You need to stand firm on this.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 October 2014):
 Should you worry? No, you should dump the dumb Sh__! No one acts that way...you are in a bizzare place get out.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 October 2014):
 'Every week or two' is not 'occasionally'. It's regularly.And it seems he has a bit of a 'fuck you' attitude whether you're fighting or not. My opinion, since you asked, is this guy is not a keeper. I understand that we can be aroused by someone besides our significant other, but if your boyfriend is dumb enough and crass enough to spell that out for you, I'd say he's not worth much investment.Your boyfriend has a wandering eye and he's made sure you know about it. I don't see the point in arguing with him or checking his history. Even if he promises not to masturbate to other women you won't believe him (nor should you) so you can either leave him behind or accept him for what he is.
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A
female
reader, txngal +, writes (20 October 2014):
Why is he using other girls images for his sexual satisfaction? What about the sexual relationship he has with you? That is a rhetorical question, but something to think about.
You have every right to be uncomfortable with this. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate this... at all. Porn is one thing, but masterbating to photos of girls he knows or has had a "thing" with in the past is completely unacceptable. In my relationship this would be grounds for ending the relationship if you've discussed it before but he continues to do it.
Not only is it a form of dishonesty, but it is highly disrespectful to you and your feelings. And it appears that this guy is not over the people in his past.
Don't you deserve better than this?
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