A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need advice, I'm 22 and my husband is 39. We are married one year and have a 6 month old daughter. My husband and I got on well most of the time and he was generally someone I could call my best friend but Lately I have just felt like leaving him. A year before our baby was born he was always that little bit hard on me and would complain to me about the littlest things and blame me for a lot of things going wrong which many were not my fault. I suffered depression for 2 and a half years and as you can imagine I was difficult to say the least, some days I just wanted to leave the planet, but when I found out after I got married I was pregnant my depression lifted and 1 and a half years on I don't suffer from it . He was there for me and I appreciate that but now However my husband is starting to make me feel the start of it again. Just because of the way he makes me feel right now. When I was pregnant he treated me so well never nagged or complained about the things I didnt do and made me feel special. Within a week of our baby being born he was back to himself and yes a baby change everything but he can be so hard on me it's like a light switch on my brain turns and I just cry to myself in my room wishing he would treat me like I'm not trash. I'm 22 I don't go out and party I have no luxuries I never was a party girl but I never did nothing with my life like I do now. I run my own retail business online my husband has admitted that only I can get sales that he can't which means I am responsible for 80% of our income. He works a few shifts in a bar also. My husband takes really good care of our baby when I work . However with the business I work all hours almost all my waking hours to help us make money so as a treat or is it even a treat? But anyway everyday as a break I watch female bloggers online on snapchat and he just kills me over it saying we have to make money we will not make money if you have on that. The people I watch go traveling and have nice things and I watch them as a way of breaking reality , dreaming of the day we have money it's really the only thing I have that I enjoy because i can't afford to buy myself nice things travel or even go on a date. It's harmless I may spend in total 1 hour a day watching bloggers and sometimes he gives me the look and I either jump out of the app or if I hear him in the hall I turn it down so he won't get mad at me . He is a very frustrated man he tells me it's how he is and So I cry when he gives out about this little small tiny thing I do to break my reality Day by day because he tends to forget he had fun at 22 living for himself not having a baby dependent on him he always tells me how he went on holidays nights out in his 20s so he forgets that I am only that age now and forgets that I don't know the whole world yet . I just feel he is so hard on me sometimes . I just don't feel special anymore . I make the effort for him for Father's Day I really made the effort and do so many little special surprises. He goes out drinking once a week which he deserves as he is a great dad But I stay home either being a mom or running a business because I literally have no friends or have no money to enjoy anything . I asked him to make one promise. To buy me flowers once a month , each month I had to remind him so I said last month I won't and I'll see if he does this for me and well he forgot so I gave up reminding. I just find myself day dreaming of being divorced free with me daughter no more feeling so crap inside about myself . What do I do ? I've told him so many times how it hurts me and he says sorry but then goes back to the same way over again . I never thought marriage meant for me to stay in doors and not have one luxury i.e. Watching bloggers . I literally do not do anything other than that and he makes it out it's the worst thing to do.
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a break, best friend, divorce, flowers, money, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 I agree with dancergirl- you've proved you can provide for yourself and your kid- your worth is more than keeping him on his pedestal.
He's got it pretty easy, cushy part time job, having a wife deluded that she needs him, keeping her under key and wrap- and using her as a prop to make him feel good about himself by upsetting her.
You have no friends, hobbies, and currently low self-esteem. He has chipped away at you to mold you into this over the years. You're 22! Don't squander your life, trapped in this shell you're in.
FACT: He doesn't love you, but he does depend on you. He doesn't do ONE thing to make you happy, and love is about making each other happy, KNOWING their needs and making an effort to fulfil these needs. If a guy/girl keeps doing things they KNOW make you unhappy it ISNT LOVE.
You know all this deep down though- that you DO deserve better. He knows that you'll keep playing the doormat, because you've given him how many chances? GET OUT.
he will make it difficult for you so make sure you have as much family/ friends around you- as it won't be easy-
that doesn't mean not it's the right thing to do.
Also ask citizens advice what legal advice you can get- pretty sure he as to pay you paternity.
Good luck, you can do it, because the alternative is live an unhappy life
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 September 2017):
 Even though I think you got married much to young, you still need to realize the importance off a marriage it is meant for life and some people take it to lightly. You need to fight for it. Stand up for yourself do what you like with your own time, remember he is not your boss. But also he needs to learn from his mistakes and want to work on it as well. You need to tell him how you are feeling, see a marriage therapist and work on it. It would be cruel to up and leave him if he is a good dad. Also as for the flowers most men do forget these things. You need to go out and make friends, he cannot make friends for you.
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A
female
reader, DancerGirl1984 +, writes (25 September 2017):
Marriage at 21 is way too young in my opinion. You haven't began your life. Leave your husband, take your kid and enjoy life. You don't depend on him, he depends on you.
You make your own money, pay all bills and look after your child. You don't need him.
Move on and be happy.
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