A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i am going to be 100% honest and realistic about my situation however sad it sounds!Recently i fell in love with a guy. The first time i have ever fell in love. I don't think he felt the same way but he gave me a taste of how amazing it is to feel love! I was heartbroken when it ended.Anyway, now i feel like i need someone to love me! I feel so sad to be alone to the point where i feel depressed. Which is rediculous, i know, but it's just how i feel.I just can't find someone! I am clever, caring and funny ...i'm just not pretty! How am i ever going to find someone that i love that loves me back when i'm just not attractive.I want someone to love EVERY part of me, but i know if i was a boy i wouldnt find me attractive! i am clean and really try on my appearance, though!Am i doomed? is there anything i can do? HELP !
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Look,what one guy finds ugly and horrible, another will find gorgeous! That saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true! I have been told I'm ugly, I've also been told I'm pretty but just not the pretty boys want, but it doesn't matter what any of them say, because I can guarantee that there is someone who likes you, someone who thinks you're beautiful. Whether you like them back or not, remind yourself that someone likes you. And if you're pretty and clever and kind, it's the boys loss if they just go on looks, and not all your awesome and charming characteristics. Remember, anyone who rejects you- their loss, anyone who says you're ugly- if they're stupid enough to discriminate someone because of looks, they ain't worth loving.
A
female
reader, Scarlett Dreams  +, writes (19 September 2012):
Hey Beautiful! Yeah I am talking to you! Beauty is defined as good skin and 1 other feature you like about your face. Interesting, huh? I was told I was ugly or plain growing up. I wondered why guys really didn't talk to me. Then a man told me the truth..now several men have, I am pretty, just not what they want in a girl. After they lost me, they came scrambling back begging for forgiveness. Not going to happen. I learned that when I live my life for me, doing the things that make me happy that's when you find Mr. Right.
So chin up sweetie, He is just a fun time of varied interests away. Happiness with accepting yourself and enjoying your life is seen as confidence, you can do this.
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male
reader, mark keane +, writes (7 July 2012):
hi i just seen your message and i think you are a nice girl with a great sence of humore looks arent everything
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): hi well just stay positive! your unique remember there is no one like you. you'll find somone who loves you for you!
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male
reader, viewmastr +, writes (22 December 2010):
I'm a guy, and I find the stereotypically beautiful woman unattractive. My first thought when I see a woman with "classically beautiful" features is that they're extremely boring, vapid, and can offer me nothing emotionally or spiritually because they've (I assume) never had to struggle for anything. Whether this is true or not, it's my immediate reaction. Many men have been hurt as well. Pain permeates the collective consciousness and nothing's more holy than the mutual salvation of two hurting people who save each other through being there for each other. My advice: find a guy who's been put through as much emotional emptiness as you... you'll heal each other.
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male
reader, kenlin  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 i just want u to know that in this world God has always put there some one just created for u or meant for u even if every one has left u in the deepest darkness he will be there to bring forth your light and all he will ask from u is to love u until death for he live for your love and fear just trust in God he who created u has some one out there don't give up on your waiting always put God first then all the good thing u ever want will be added to u
kenlin victor
stay strong
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female
reader, wishingforthebetter +, writes (6 August 2010):
Everyone is beautiful no matter your color, weight, or looks. Just look deep inside and see your talents and see your potential, you can change the world and don't ever even think about giving up that opportunity.
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female
reader, sEva +, writes (7 June 2010):
I think most of the people who replied are pretty. I'm going to give a depressing answer.
I am not pretty. I've been told that specifically that I'm not pretty. One guy even told me no matter what I do I will never be pretty enough and that I wasn't pretty and he wanted someone pretty. I have sexy in shape body but I'm not pretty in the face. I'm 37 and single. I've dated many guys but I'm the kind of girl that they will have sex with but not a LTR.
If you get lucky someone will love you. But guys are dogs and if you watch them they get all perky when there's a pretty woman in front of them. Pretty women get all sorts of special treatment. No wonder they have so much confidence.
I've reached the conclusion I won't get married because I'm not pretty and it sucks and I hate life and I hate people for being so superficial.
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male
reader, Polite Fellow  +, writes (4 May 2009):
Hey Beautiful, you're not ugly. There are billions of people in this world all with different tastes and appreciations.I'm an ugly guy, but i couldn't be happier because i'm with the girl of my dreams, the one i've always noticed and always wanted but was to shy to talk to. Well i'm with her now, and she is stunning, both personality and beauty and guess what, she thinks she's ugly too, the idiot. haha sheesh, the human psychology. for all i know i could look like brad pitt.So don't threat, i had many dilemas of thinking i was ugly and destined to be alone, but here i am ugly, happy and beautiful. all at once.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): girl, you will find that special someone one day. don't worry, your still young. When I was in high school, all my girlfriends were in relationships. i thought no one wanted me because of my physical appearance. no one asked me to the senior prom. no one even talked to me except for my girlfriends. but you know what? i survived. now i'm in college and i have the most amazing man in my life, who loves me both inside and out. we connect on an emotional and intellectual level. he dosen't care that i may be a bit fat here and there, or that i have a super flat chest, or that i have acne scars, or that i have crooked teeth and wear thick frame specs. he loves me for me, and this is why our relationship is going to last forever.
good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): Girly, you tell a mournful tale.... One all too common for my liking.
First and foremost, all women are beautiful. Young or old, thick or skinny, tall or short, et al.
Don't fret over your current state, you will find love should you not give up.
As to you not being pretty... hogwash! Just because you don't think you're pretty really means very little (except for lowering your self esteem). You'll never date yourself. I promise you that there are people your age who find you very appealing.
Love yourself for who you are and stand tall. These are very, very attractive attributes form a male perspective.
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female
reader, siiLviia  +, writes (1 May 2009):
It's just a matter of taste! For example, some guys tell me that I'm very pretty/hot but they just won't date me. Or they just want something sexual.Other guys will just say that I am ugly.I feel like I have so much to give, but that no one wants it.Basically... boys suck. They're just crazy and weird...I don't believe in soulmates, but I believe in "meant to be together", and destiny and karma.Everyone gets what they deserve and, honey, you deserve a perfect guy. Everyone is beautiful.xx sil
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): There is a market for everyone.
I find it unfair to label onself as not pretty. You are. And you are particularly pretty to YOUR market. Your look is beautiful by virtue of your inherent value. You are a beautiful person, period.
Last night I sat at a bar with my boyfriend and ate dinner. A very attractive man came up and sat next to me with his date. I did a second look at him because I found him pleasing to look at. Then I noticed his date was about twice as big as him, little eyes, rough, acne prone skin texture. They both chatted and laughed and enjoyed themselves. She was a delight. She was smart, kind, attentive, reasonable, and had impeccable manners. She was a very "pretty" girl because her full beauty made her shine.
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reader, RaeMay +, writes (30 April 2009):
 i believe that everyone has a significant other in the world somewhere. and just because you think your not pretty doesnt mean that you wont ever find love. Love isnt about looks. So when the right guy finds you, youll know because he will still think that your his everything.
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reader, kellyxxx +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Just because you don't consider yourself to be pretty doesn't mean someone else won't find you beautiful! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm sure someone will love every part of you!! I'm a beautician and a hairdresser and when people come to me for complete make overs it is suprising how different you can look! Once you think you look better your self esteem will gradually become higher,and confidence is the thing which draws men in! To work on physical appearance you can do the following- make a list of improvements you want to happen and then start saving and you'll have a fund to spend on treatments. You can change your appearance by going to the hairdressers and asking their opinions on styles! When they are doing you hair ask their advice on how to style your hair and what products to use (for more advice personal msg me) you could go to a makeup and cosmetics counter and ask advice on makeup and products which you should be using to match your skin type (again, personal msg me) then take a trip to a beauty salon and get your legs waxed, eyebrows waxed, a spray tan, nails done, pedicure....the list goes on and on! You don't have to go to a salon for all of these treatments, some can be done at home! For more information msg me with anything specific! Kelly.x
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reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 April 2009):
 In the crazy world we live in, it often seems that good looks are the key to a happy life. Unfortunately there are a lot of disappointed beautiful people in the world! That old saying about beauty being in the eye of the beholder is very true. What one person would find attractive, another would find a huge turn off. As you get older you will realise there is more to a relationship than the way you look. As that bloom of youth fades and the body begins to sag (I am talking about me by the way!), you still have to get along with your life partner warts and all. It is totally normal to feel anxiety about personal appearance at your age. Everyone feels like a scalded cat when their first love doesn't work out as they hoped. Long term relationships are based on friendship and an attraction to the personality as much as the external looks. You have to come to understand that there is very little you can do about your looks - even people who resort to cosmetic surgery rarely end up happy at the end of it. You can do so much about the way you feel about you. Being attractive is about being confident about yourself and is definitely a state of mind. You are young and have a long time to find the right partner. This will be a question of finding someone who is attractive to you, as much as finding someone who finds you attractive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Darling ifyour personality is so great andyou try hard to make do with your looks, there is no problem:) Boys will be drawn to your confidence
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female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Dont ever sell yourself short, and dont ever call yourself unattractive. Easier said than done, but you are worth more than that. Plus if a guy was in a relationship with you, cared about you and showed you love, you must not be ugly then.
When you fall in love with someone, especially for the first time, and it ends, its hard as hell to move on, and even harder to make amends. Self- esteem and confidence wind up taking a plunge due to depression, but realize that you are worthy of love just like anyone else, and in time, when you heal, and move on, you will find someone who cares about you even more than this ex.
Also dont assume that attractive people are lucky in the world of relationships. The world works in crazy ways, you can be absolutely beautiful, and have the nastiest personality and find no one crazy enough to date you. Or you could be drop dead gorgeous but dumb as a rock, or so stunning that no man wants to approach you because fear of rejection.
Relationships are not based solely on looks, if that were the case no one would stick around with one another, because well lets face it, we get older and we lose what we have. Communication is key in a relationship, and so far from what I see, you know what your good attributes are. Keep looking for more positives.
Also you mention that if you were a guy you wouldnt find ureself attractive. We are always our own worst critics. What you see in the mirror, may not be what a man sees at all. Your flaw could just wind up being what the next man you have falls in love with.
So no you are not doomed.
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