A
male
age
51-59,
*oey72
writes:Why does she flirt?Should I flirt back with her? A girl, 19, who I am friends with, and I am 40.We work together once a week and sometimes end up at the same events.She flirts with me about 1/2 the time. like sometimes she doesnt at all and other times she will constantly, seems to be by mood. I dont ever see her flirting with anyone else. she sits by her self or sits with me, pretty shy and keeps to her self. She will sometimes give me compliments and teases me a lot......Two Questions. what is going on here? Does she actually have interest in me? and Should I flirt back? Considering our age difference, If I flirt back/tease her would that be creepy to her? Or not since she started first? She is fun and I enjoy the attention and I want to return the playfulness but keep holding back because of our age difference.
View related questions:
flirt, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): Alright so I personally disagree with the above. I am actually in a similar situation except I am 2o and the female. So I just kept waiting for him to ask me out but he never did and then I was just to shy to ask him myself and I prefer to be asked out because I feel like it sets a different tone in relationships if a woman asks a man out. I honestly am interested in this man for his personality but I do know the odd girl who would encourage an older man because she is insecure and either looking for someone who she figures is unattainable in order to feel safe flirting or those who actually find it fun to toy with people...
Any ways so what I think you should do is ask her out; no not like bam will you be my woman, just casually ask her to go grab coffee after work or during lunch to talk about x,y & z of work. Or just try to talk to her more at work and get a feel for whether she's actually interested or not. Something harmless that can be brushed away OR taken as possible interest should she choose to be interested.
Also I would first seriously consider the age gap; do you care what other people especially your family will say and judge and assume? Plus you have to keep in mind that her emotional needs/experiences will be different than yours and women your age. You'll have to continuously consider the way that your actions affect her, how she will handle things at her age. To be honest the age difference scared the hell out of me at first but I still worked with him for 40 hours a week and after a time I can honestly say that I seriously considered all the implications and was okay with them and it was his personality that drew me to him.
A
male
reader, joey72 +, writes (25 October 2012):
joey72 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. Its just all in fun, but I do feel some type of attraction both ways,I hear so much about young girls thinking that older guys showing them attention is creepy so I am confused by her actions.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): She may just be a flirt. Have you noticed her flirting with other men? She may like men that are older than her. There's nothing wrong with flirting. If you like the attention then flirt with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 Teenagers mood's often vary, hence why you see the variation in her flirting. She probably sees it as a game, a bit of fun, trying to see if she can get you to flirt back. Some girls like the idea of an older man being attracted to them, it is something to brag about to her friends.
I think you are sensible enough aged 40 to know that nothing could ever come of this, putting the age gap aside (which is far too big when she is only 19 for it to ever work) you also work together (a big no no dating fellow employees). There is no point in trying to flirt back, because you would only get yourself into an even more complicated situation and things will get messy.
Just laugh it off, enjoy the attention but dont give it back. At her age she wont really know what she is doing so just leave her to it, she is just a teenager and definitely not someone you could ever think about dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 October 2012):
 she may not have an interest in dating you or having sex with you but she may see you as a fun guy to flirt with.
if you are single and interested then by all means flirt back.
but be prepared to be shut down if you express interest and she's just "sport flirting"
I'm a sport flirter... I flirt with anyone who moves.. it's my nature...
age difference is really relative...
when my husband was 19 I was 32... and I would have flirted but never considered him for a partner...
...............................
|
