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I'm turning 19 this week and I've never even been in a relationship!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 May 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm not sure why i'm writing this, but here goes.

I'm turning 19 this week and i've never even been in a relationship! Back in school i'd fall for the guys i couldn't have and after 3 years of not allowing myself to fall for anyone, i made a mistake: I let off my guard.

This guy seemed a lot more "in my league", so to speak, but even so, i had no luck and he just wants us to be friends. He is however, really flirty towards me but i guess he just likes the extra attention that i foolishly give him for free,

only one guy was ever capable of being with me more than once and i was being used, so his girlfriend would take him back.

I'm a virgin, i have no idea what love is - actual love not platonic infatuation - and i just feel sorry for myself for being such a loser.

I think even my friends think i'm a loser!

Is it okay to just feel like i should have never been born? To feel this helpless and miserable? And don't tell me it's self confidence, cus it just doesn't work!

View related questions: confidence, flirt

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A female reader, Love_is_all_youu_need United Kingdom +, writes (5 May 2008):

Love_is_all_youu_need agony auntHey don't worry, there's a right time for everyone! Some people have boy/girl friends from the age of 12 or even younger, I think that's more of a worry, than NOT having one at 19! Don't put yourself down, there's probably loads of guys who have their eyes on you but you just can't see it! If it really bothers you then start going to nightclubs or sportcentres i'm sure you'll meet a few guys who'll take an interest in you! xx

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A male reader, Anonyman United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2008):

Anonyman agony auntI understand becuase i'm the same. It's hard to pick yourself up sometimes becuase it keeps coming back at you, everytime you see your friends enjoying themselves, It's a nighmare. But i'm sure you're a great person inside, you need to try and put all this to the back of your mind and try to build your confidence and feel good factor back up. Go out with friends, take up a new hobbie, get out as much as you can and your confidence should return with this. Then you should find it easier to interact with boys, more confidence and happiness = more attraction.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

sometimes i really wish i had never gotten into relationships and had kept my virginity. relationships and sex and having a connection with someone is great. but it comes with so much worrying and drama. sometimes i wish i had more time to myself and for other things i care about. do not rush things, time will take its course and you will find someone, soulmate or not, to share your time, your joy and your sadness with. do not feel like a loser because i am sure you are a great person and you do not need a partner to feel complete.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

You're worrying way too much. I never had sex or was in a relationship until I was 20, which was four years ago now. I think you might be over analysing. If you want a relationship then look for a boyfriend.

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