A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, am i in love or obsessed? I've liked this guy (for the purpose of this, lets call him mr x)for nearly a year now, that was when i first met him. It became clear to me how much i liked mr x straight away, but then mr x just wasn't interested in me. Then this other guy (and lets call him my Y) asked me out, and i tried to make it work between us, but i just couldn't stop thinking about mr X, so i had to break it off with mr Y, because it wasn't fair on him. After that i got talking to mr X and he seemed to like me, and asked to swap numbers and everything, but then nothing after that happened. I tried to move on and forget about mr X but it just wasn't working, but i think he is with someone now, and i guess that as long as he's happy.But i just can't get him out of my head, am i in love or obsessed? Please help
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 You say you do know him well and you like his personality. You say he isn't that good looking. Do you think he is shy? Does he KNOW you like him as more than a friend? Sometimes guys need clear signals before they make a move. I'm glad that you like this guy for his personality.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim just goin sit back and do nothing cus if its meant to be it will happen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): there's a very fine line between being in love and being obsessed i think! I think only you can know really.. If you're in love you'll know. Whenever you see him yuor heart will beat 10 times faster, your palms will be sweaty and you laugh at anything remotely funny that he says because he's such a wonderful person and you can't stop thinking about him 24/7! If you do love him and it's unrequited it's sucks.. and i guess the only thing u can do is try to move on. Keep looking for other guys and let things happen naturally.
But like rhythmandblues2 said you need to make sure you're not letting yuor work slip because of a guy. I know it's difficult to do that sometimes.. But you don't want to end up regretting concentrating more on mr x than on your studies!!
Wish you luck.. keep us updated :-)
xx Hope xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut im really good friends with him and i do know quite alot about mr X thats what made me like him in the frist place because hes not much of a looker but he has an amazing personality
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Wow this sounds like an algebra problem where you divided mr x by mr y and got mr x splitting with ms z....
I think you maybe need to get back to math problems and let things sort themselves out with the boys....
You're not in love, this fantasy guy is just more interesting to you than algebra....but guess what if you are really great at math, that will get you much farther in life than pining over some boy you never really knew....
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (4 May 2008):
I do not think you are in love because I don't think you probably know him well enough for that at this time. I think what you have for him is an infatuation. My guess is that without the real knowledge of being with him or knowing him well you have replaced what would be the truth with some kind of fantasy about what he would be like or what you think he is like and that you have probably built him into something fantastic. These other guys that you will date can not compete with the perfect guy you have created in your mind.
Try this. Write down all the positives about mr x (even the ones you think he is but aren't sure). Now be honest and write down the negatives and the first one I will give to you 1) he is not interested in me. When you go looking for your next guy decide what positives you must have and the negatives you will not put up with and try to find someone who stacks up. Let me tell you that it isn't worth your time to pine over someone who isn't interested in you. (speaking from experience) You have a life to live and you are young so go out and enjoy yourself and make room for that someone special.
Take care.
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