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I'm trying to break up w/ him, and he refuses to see that he was emotionally abusive! Am *I* the one w/ the problem, though?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

I broke up with my fiance and he calls telling me stuff like the reason he is so sad is because he isn't proud of some of the things he did to me in the relationship. What makes me mad is he says we both did things wrong! I'll admit that sometimes when I broke up with him I would cuss or try to rip up cards and pictures which was immature, but he was so emotionally abusive throughout the whole relationship! And, I can think of instances where he cussed at me as well, and ripped up letters I gave him. I told him that I shouldn't have to put up with a disrespectful guy who would get mad if I didn't want to smoke, drink, or have sex with him to name a few. Anyway, he said I hurt him by packing and breaking up with him all the time. I said I was sorry that I just didn't leave for good the first time I broke up with him. He always made me feel so guilty so I always went back. Right now I'm trying to tell him that it was an unhealthy and abusive relationship, and I hate how he won't admit that. He just says we should try to work it out over the phone and talk about good things. The problem is, I wouldn't even be friends with a guy who treated me like that! I told him maybe in the future we could talk, that is if he changes. I guess my question is why does he think it wasn't emotionally abusive what he put me through? Am I the one going crazy?!

View related questions: broke up, emotionally abusive, fiance, immature

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A female reader, rammsteinfan United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

rammsteinfan agony auntYou are NOT crazy....not at all! I was in an emotionally abusive relationship some time ago, and I know what you are going through at this time! Being treated like that only tears you down to make you feel like worthless slime. Before I got out of that relationship, I was an emotional wreck...my self-esteem was ZERO. I felt so worthless. I thank the Lord for getting out of a relationship that was going to kill me!!

You don't need to be treated like a door mat to be stepped upon. You deserve a man who will honor and respect you and your feelings. Just kick him to the curb and leave him there!

God Bless!

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