A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in my early 20s and been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an amazing relationship. We are best friends and do everything together. However recently I haven't been feeling the same, I've had this feeling at the back of my mind for the best part of a year but tried to ignore it. He is the most amazing guy and perfect boyfriend to me. But I find myself not excited by our relationship and sex. He also isn't spontaneous, however don't know if I'm asking too much from a long relationship. I have never spoke romantically to another man since we've been together, but find myself looking at other men and excited by the thought of dating again. I've spoke to him about these feelings and he's voiced that he does not feel the same and is still totally in love with me. I know he would make the perfect husband for me, but if I've had these feelings then what should I do? I love him loads, but don't want to waste time in a relationship where it ultimately might reach an expiration date. I would appreciate any advice on what to do, thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2018): Was this you?? www.dearcupid.org/question/love-my-boyfriend-but-imtempted-to-stray.html -- regardless if it is or not it would really help you as lots of good advice. You've been together since you were basiclay children and are now different people and are not necessarily meant to be together any more. Thats why not many people are still friends with people from their school years let alone dating them. Some do but it's rare for it to last.
I'm sorry you are facing this because breakups are hard but sometimes needed. You need to be single for a year or so and find who you are without a boyfriend. You havent been single since you were a teen so it's important to take time out from guys and discover yourself as an individual in ways you cant do in a relationship because you get distracted and use up your energy on it.
As has been said either therapy together to try to save it or be kind and breakup.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (27 January 2018):
 Either try couples' therapy to reignite the passion or break up. You're not the same people you were 4 years ago, let alone 7 - 8 years, OP. It's okay to know it's not working any more.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (27 January 2018):
 You got together when you were in your teens. For a relationship to last 8 years from such young beginnings is a major achievement. However, you have both changed as people in that time and you seem to have outgrown the relationship.
Being best friends is a fantastic basis for a long term relationship if you are both totally happy with what you have. You know you are no longer content with that. You love him as a friend but wonder what else is out there.
Your boyfriend deserves someone who loves him whole heartedly. If you marry now, you will be marrying just to move the relationship forward. From my own observation of couples who do this, the novelty of marriage does not work for long in terms of plastering over the cracks that already exist in the relationship. You are just putting off the inevitable.
Much as it is going to hurt him to break up with him, it will hurt him even more further down the line. Be honest with him and try to be as kind as possible without compromising what YOU want from life.
Hugs. It's never easy hurting someone you love. Tough decisions come with high prices. The break up will be painful for you too. Give yourself time to get over the relationship before you throw yourself into dating.
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