A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a dire dilemma of my life and in serious trouble. I am in love with my married boss and he too loves me but neither did he committed to me nor I asked anytime as I knew it he was married before we got into relationshipLater I married the person my parents chose and continued to work with my boss. My husband never respected me and later he got serious doubt about my relationship with my boss. Now he threatens me always and forces me to get physical by saying if I don't obey he will tell all to my parents. I too never respected him (and I know will never be even after I leave my lover) because of his ego and dominating attitude. But at the same time I am hurt every time by his behaviour and have to tolerate because I don’t want to lose my parents. I can’t stay without my boss because he too really loves me and provides me all kind of happiness whenever whatever possible but he too is equally hurt by all thisI don’t care much about me but it pains when I hurt my lover but also can't lose my parents. If these things are known to my parents not sure how they will react? I can leave my husband but not my lover and parents. I need a practical advice on what should I do now? Also what should I be doing if my parents come to know about this, please help, its affecting work and health of mine and my lover too.
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female
reader, Jayeanna  +, writes (5 February 2013):
You married someone your parents chose? Is this a cultural or religious habit or are you just refusing to take responsibility for your decisions?First you must grow up and realize you are captain of your own soul. No wife should be raped and there are laws against this. That is the impression I get reading that your husband forces you by blackmail or threat. Now you are a victim. You couldn't say No to marriage to someone you didn't love? Simplify your life. Get out of the marriage first. The affair will end then because your married boss will feel scared that now you will be available and a possible threat to HIS marriage. It's a win- win situation. Work on your career and change jobs. You are young. Get away from the disaster you created yourself by not having the courage to stand up for what is right FOR YOU! A counselor would be a great move.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Hi
Will ur bf leave his wife for u? And i dont think he will. Will u be able to work out differences between u and ur husband. If not i strongly suggest u to leave ur bf, ur husband and start ur life fresh.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): "I need a practical advice on what should I do now?"
Wave a magic wand and wish and hope for an immediate resolution that will provide a foolproof solution to a seemingly impossible problem, achieving your goal of making your parents, husband, married boss lover and married boss lover's wife deliriously happy while sparing you any deserved consequences of your self-serving, cowardly, amoral behavior.
Whatever trap you want to believe you're stuck in is of your own making. You knowingly and willingly took up with your married boss AND you knowingly and willingly married a man whom you didn't love out of expedience.
What you want now is an easy way out where you can have everything your way while you avoid having to decide among conflicting choices or make difficult sacrifices, a typical and expected course of action for those completely devoid of conscience, courage or brains.
Only thing I can suggest is that you throw yourself on the mercy of your parents, confess your abject failings as a human being, and hopefully find a way of guilting them into thinking that it's entirely their fault and you're the dewy-eyed innocent victim in all this, as you always are.
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