A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I made a huge no-no.As a little preface, I'm currently dating a guy who is far more experienced than me. Part of it comes from an age difference (nearly a decade) and another part comes from the way he's lived his life up until now (he's done a lot of "experimenting" with substances and sex). He's tame now but still really outgoing and the life-of-the-party type whereas I'm a bit more reserved.I like him more than words can describe and he says his feelings for me are more intense than anything he's ever felt, but I can't kick this feeling that I'm not really the girl for him.So, I did a little bit of internet stalking, and I came across an old account of his on a social website. I ended up seeing pictures of his ex (she's freaking gorgeous) and all his friends from home who are just like him. Now I'm certain that he's either settling for me or he's just trying something new out because I know that I don't measure up to the people from his past.Is this relationship doomed? Am I best off just ending this now?
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (29 September 2011):
It sounds like you are just being insecure. I mean, it would be weird to end a relationship because he and his friends are more confident than you, and you think his ex is more prettier than you. Work on your own confidence. There are obviously many things that this guy loves about you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): "I made a huge no no"
How old are you again?
Honestly, you don't have a clue regarding how potentially detrimental dating this man could be.
He's got half of your lifetime on you in years...
Trust your gut instinct that you've made a 'no no' and break it off with him. No matter how good the sex is, it isn't worth being destroyed.
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (29 September 2011):
Honestly from what it sounds like and how old he is he is either not the type that will ever settle down or he wants to settle down now. From what it sounds like you have changed him around. That seems like a good sign to me. If your looking to settle down maybe you should ask him what he wants. He may not want to. And dont break up with him because the other girl in your opinion looks prettier then you. Theres more to guys then dating a girl that looks good. Like most guys might not say this but personality is major!!!!
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A
female
reader, HoneyComb +, writes (29 September 2011):
First of all, stop trying to second guess him. Who cares what his friends and old girlfriend look like? Get over it ... he's changed and he appreciates you, so stop trying to read between the lines. If he's honorable and treats you with respect, you know it. It's time to change your attitude and see yourself as an equal ... you'll fit in where you belong. But, please, don't cheapen yourself and do stupid things, like drugs, to be more like "them". Be good and love beautiful self.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): Girl don't worry too much! I suggest you 'observe' the situation for a while? Or maybe you can casually ask him about his ex? And ask him he's with you. In your part it also depends on whether you can accept him having such a lifestyle. My ex had a partying lifestyle just like yours and things didn't work out in the end with him cos I was rather reserved like you and I didn't really like his lifestyle. Hope everything works out in the end :)
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