A
female
age
30-35,
*annyamommy
writes:Hello there, i am 19 and well i just got a great job opportunity, and i have a 1 year old son who i am afraid of being apart from. Im histeracly crying over not wanting to work when i know i should be happy. Most of my time will be spent at work and i will be coming home to a sleeping baby. I feel that i will miss on alot of my babys life. I no longer know whats best if i should take the job opportunity or if i should turn it down. I have so many dreams of gving my son a better life than what i have had. Please help what do i do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 How are you going to give your son a better life than what you have had, if you pass up great job opportunitities ?...
Many children have working mothers. Maybe not in USA, I don't know, but in Europe most women don't even have the luxury to decide if they want to work or not - because they HAVE to work, it takes two incomes to raise a family, - let alone if you are a single mother. So, maybe it's small comfort to you, but you are in the same situation of a few millions other young women , and obviously not all the kids grow up neglected ,deprived and frustrated ! It depends from the quality of care they get when you are at work, and from the warmth, time and attention you devote to your child when you are not.
I can see that at 19 that implies a sacrifice ( spending all or at least most of your non working hours with your kid to give him enough mommy time, rather than hanging out with friends etc..), it's gonna be tough. Then again, it's for a good cause, the best cause ever:)- your child's future.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 ok, take a deep breath. Do you absolutely have to take this one job oppertunity right now? Just because you miss one oppertunity, this doesn't mean that there won't be other, better ones, or that you can't have another chance to do this job later. There are other options.
It sounds like being in your child's life at this young age is very important to you. Also it doesn't sound as though this job is specifically important, but rather the money and therefore the better lifestyle you want your child to have. In this case, I think it is best for you to wait until he is older to get a job, OR find a job which allows you to work from home. Explore other options. There are many ways to earn from home. You can sell products door to door, or through parties in people's homes, such as Avon or Usbourne children's books. My mum did this and did supply teaching so that she could choose when she worked and she could take us with her when she sold her children's books.
If this doesn't appeal, I see no harm in waiting until your child goes to school before you get a job. He is not going to remember the lifestyle he has in the first few years of life, but he will benefit from having a close bond with his mother at this age. Once he goes to school you will have time to work then.
Don't think there is only one way to live as a parent. Be creative about how you make money. If you are good at something, eg cooking, baking cakes, painting, making crafts, massage or selling things online, you could find a way to make money out of this whilst still being at home with your baby.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): Go for the job. It is an investment in your child's future.In this economy, people are lucky to even have any job, let alone a "great" job opportunity. So, take it!it's not like you will never see your kid. You will have weekends and vacation days and sick days.Also this job will not be forever either, or it may change its hours.Your son will be with you for the next 18 years. You have a lot of time to spend with him.another option is to give up this job, wait until your son is older and in school, and then look for a similar job then.my mom had me when she was young, and she gave up her career for a few years for me. When I and my siblings were older and in school then she resumed her career. But she still has some regrets over having given up her career as well as other opportunities in those early years because by the time she went back, her youth was gone and the landscape was totally different. Many opportunities were forever lost. It's not about career vs personal life, it's about self fulfillment, realizing your full potential as an individual. For some people (including women not just men) it happens in the form of your profession.
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