A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my fiance for 5 years but over the last few months ive been seeing a man that is 11 years older than me, he is single but im falling for him or should i say i already have and i dont know what to do.i dont wanna hurt any one but at the min its my heart that is acheing as this guy doesnt want a serious relationship but i really like him what can i do?
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 your heart is aching? what about you fiancee who obviously loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you? its very selfish for you to be treating someone like this. relationships are based on trust, loyalty, honesty and love - all of which are not present. you do not love this man, if you did you would not be able to bring yourself to have sex or a relationship with anyone else. as for your affair, this guy is taking advantage of the fact that you are engaged to someone else as he is getting wat he wants from you - sex. any sign of you becoming free and this guy will bolt. do the right thing. be honest with your fiancee its the least he deserves. and maybe be on your own for a while cos this other guy doesnt seem to be good for you at all. figure out wat it is your looking for and be fair to your fiancee - let him go and find someone who will treat him with the respect he deserves. good luck
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (26 September 2007):
 you're lying, being decietful, cheating, and your heart is aching?
without sounding horrible isn't that a rather selfish thing to say, because you're fiance is naivly and unknowningly being taken for a ride and whilst you say you stil love him, you are thinking about how to get yourself out of a relationship you shouldn't have gotten into.
i feel sorry for your fiance and it is probably heartbreaking to see him blissfully happ unaware of what you are doing.
you're not ready for comittment yet and a marriage is based on trust, honesty, loyalty and love all of which you have broken and therefore need to do the right thing and tell your fiance that you're to young, and not ready to settle down yet. it's the least you can do now after cheating on him and if you end up on your own because your affair doesn't wasn't a relationship, you'll have nobosy but yourself to blame, and it's not a bad thing being single, it makes you appreciate strong relationships in the long term.
best of luck
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A
female
reader, amber nuttall +, writes (26 September 2007):
not long ago myself, i was torn between two people. In the end, my boyfriend found out, and we broke up. Im now single with no-one. But at the end of the day, who do you want to be with? Unfortunately, it will all end up collapsing soon if you don't decide.
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (26 September 2007):
 You've been with this man for 5years!
I shall say no more =]
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