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How do I convince a man to have a baby with me?

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Question - (26 September 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *weetlilpeachx69 writes:

how do i convice a man to have a baby with me ?? i really want another baby only i want this one to be his ..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

If you have to convince a man to have a baby with you, he probz aint ready for one now or at all. The best thing i think a girl can do if she is wanting a baby is lose the man shes with because he don't want to have one with you, so lose him start again with another man a man that wants one with you because then he won't leave you or feel he is getting trapped because he wants on to. If you stay with the man your with now and he dn't want a baby and you trick him into wanting one with you, then your relationship is going to end up ending before the baby is even born, he will most likly get scared and run so ask yourself do you really want all this to happen????????????????????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

Why do you want another baby at your age? You should be out enjoying yourself instead of worrying how to convince a guy to have a baby with you???

Yeah you can have sex, become pregnant, have a baby for him to walk away and leave you at home with baby on your own?? Is that what you really want???

Look after the baby you already have and live your live first before thinking of having another...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

Having a baby with a guy will do nothing to improve the relationship if it's not already good enough. Even if he will step up and try to care for the kid, that doesn't mean the relationship between you & him will be any better. If it's on any kind of trouble spots right now, it will most likely just make it a lot worse.

I can tell you that you shouldn't ever even consider something so wrong as to trap him with an intentional pregnancy that he wasn't expecting. But if you're selfish enough to even be considering this in the first place, then I know I'm never gonna be able to talk you out of it.

Why have another baby in the first place without a stable partner who wants it? This whole thing is bad news. Children NEED stable fathers that will be there throughout their lives. It's not an optional thing, it is DEFINITELY much worse for them if they do not have this. I don't care if it's common for kids not to have consistent fathers, that doesn't make it any less of a problem. It's still dealing the kids a major developmental blow that will affect the rest of their lives.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (27 September 2007):

penta agony auntMarriage before children is more than an old-fashioned idea. It's a contract that has legal protections for you and any children. Should anything bad happen (not just breakups, but also death of you or your BF if you get hit by a bus) then the marriage laws protect you and them. Please consider getting married before having any children. If you're thinking about children, you have to think about providing for them in every contingency.

I'm assuming that this man doesn't want to get married now, either. You MUST wait until he's ready, for all the reasons that the other Aunts have mentioned.

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (27 September 2007):

Frank B Kermit agony auntIf you have to work to convince him, then he is not the man you should be having kids with.

-Frank B Kermit

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (26 September 2007):

Basschick agony auntPlease don't. If you have to 'convince' anyone to do anything with you, then they'll only end up feeling resentment later and possibly bail out after the kid is born. Why not donate your time to a Big Brothers/Big Sisters program until the time is right for you to BOTH want another child.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (26 September 2007):

kenny agony auntYou can't convince him to have a baby with you, all you can do is talk to him and ask him how he feels about starting a family with you. If he is not ready then leave it at that, and either wait till he is ready or move on.

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):

you cant convince anyone to start a family with you if they are not ready. if you asked him and he said yes he could be doing it for all the wrong reasons and that would damage your relationship in the long run. have you even brought up the subject at all? do you think it is something he wants? you say you need to convince him and that is wrong on so many levels. if he needs convincing then you shouldnt even be asking this question. a woman who already has a child and is in wat im presuming is a long relationship should know that such things should not be tackled so immaturely.

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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2007):

leanne.od agony auntyou can't convince a man to have your baby. it needs to be his decision because you cannot trap him and force him to have your baby. it'd be immoral and unfair.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):

If he has to be convinced, then you shouldn't even consider it. Why would you want it to be his when obviously he doesn't even want one with you? This is a crazy question only a woman with horribly low self esteem would ask.

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