A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 18 and my boyfriend (24) who i have been with for a year have hit a bump in our relationship. Clearly you can see there is an age gap between us, and that is part of the problem. He's wanting more out of our relationship, more of a commitment. For me to move in with him or for us to get our own place, we dont see each other very often because of our commitments (work and that im studying a 3 year course in college) and the fact that we live an hour away from each other. For me to move in with him would mean leaving my course an getting a dead end job and moving to where he lives leaving all my friends and family behind. I would love for our relationship to work but i know i can't give him what he wants and deep down he knows it too. I'm torn, between staying with him or moving on. I don't want to break up we both love each other but it isn't fair on either us is it? Is breaking up the right thing to do? Mod Note: I hope the standard of your English spelling and grammar when having to write essays is somewhat more adult than you originally wrote here! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AnnaW219 +, writes (18 November 2007):
 simply ask him if he could move some where close to you and then move in so you can do this corse and still see your family and friends you'll get through it if you love each other so much
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Compromise. I'm not saying break up, but I am saying he should respect the fact that you have school. School is more important than a guy. He's had time to progress and go to school (if he has). Now, he needs to be understanding and give you that. He needs to be more patient with you. I have an older bf myself, and I know how that works. They feel like their biological clock is running out, etc. etc. But he needs to be more understanding. He needs to act like the adult that he is supposed to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Hi, you are too young to be moving in with your boyfriend, living together is merely playing house.
You answered your own question, in that moving in with him means giving up your goals, and taking a dead end job. Who in their right mind would make that life choice? And how long do you think it would take for the fights to start from your resentment for giving up your life's dreams for him?
Timing is everything in relationships, you are on a different path than he is, this is where you learn that love is not enough. You have to have a shared vision for your future life together, and you need to be on the same page.....let him go to find someone else, and you focus on your studies and enjoying college life, make some new friends, and you will be relieved you don't have the weight of this dead end relationship holding you down.
Good Luck.
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