A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:i have been going out with my boyfriend for a week, and i really want to kiss him and hold hands like a normal couple do. all of my friends try and push me into it, and then he swears at them and i don't know if he knows how i feel. i am not very confident and can't just kiss him or take hold of his hand, i don't now what he will do. also this girl is being really mean and saying things like i don't deserve him, and saying i want to slap her. i think she is trying to split us up. please help!
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Sounds pretty normal for your age (assuming you are closer to 13 than 15). At that age kids are all talk. You boy is smart to back them down when thy try to live vicariously through you.
Here is why you feel the way you do. You like this guy, may even have a crush on him, but it has only been a week. You barely know him and are worried that next week or next month he will be gone. You haven't had time to build a strong relationship of trust. That will happen. Because you don't have enough shared experiences and trust, you don't feel ready to share an intimacy with him, like holding hands, or maybe later kissing.
It doesn't mean you do not deserve a boyfriend, it does show that you have a good sense of what is the appropriate level of intimacy for the age of your relationship. Sure 15 year olds kiss. Some 13 year olds do too. For a one week relationship talking is a good level of intimacy. you may be willing to share an embarrassing story from school that many people already know about. You defiantly want to be talking about things you like.
Plans for the future and religious experience are for later. Some time before that you may want to hold hands, some time after that, you may feel ready to kiss.
Don't let kids tell you what you are ready for, in general you will be moving faster than your parents will be comfortable with any way. Other than cussing in front of you your guy sounds great.
FA
A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Seriously hun, it's only been a week! Chill out and ignore those other people. It isn's any of their business and if this guy is even remotely worth your time he'll be understanding. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable doing under any circumstances.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Ignore this other girl, she is just trying to get a reaction from you, if you ignore her then it will just annoy her, do not let her see that she is getting to you.
As for your relationship, don't rush in to anything you are not ready with and don't let your friends put pressure on you either. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to want to rush in to anything either so just enjoy each others company and don't worry about kissing or holding hands for now, once you both feel comfortable about it then it will come naturally so there is no need to force it.
Just ignore this girl and your friends.
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