A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been very close friends with a girl for about 8 months now. she has always flirted and i thought nothing of it until last month whilst over her house we kissed, an achievement for someone of her poor confidence. the next time i went to hers we kissed again and i told her i liked her and she told me she was in love with me. i asked her out and she said i need time to talk about this. she has a lot of problems and seems to always have them from our many talks. she says she wants to make it work by sorting out her problems so she can "be a better girlfriend". i am becoming tired of waiting for her now as she seems to have made no progress.what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): What is she doing about sorting out her problems? Is she talking to family, friends, a counsellor or you about them?
It could be that the problems are very difficult to confide. Don't try to push her, but ask her whether she could tell you about the problems so maybe you could help.
Maybe she is so concerned with her own problems that she doesn't realise how it is affecting you. Maybe you could say this, in a gentle way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Belive is a part of friendship and patience is best part of love.If she loves you she will come.Besides her problem is your problem help her overcoming her problems ,then she will have a complete faith in you and love will increase
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (18 January 2008):
 I think you should tell her your feelings and also not to let these problems get in the way of you two getting together.
Tell her you want to be there for her. She doesn't have to "make it work" by sorting out her problems first so she can "be a better girlfriend". You want to be with her and like her just the way she is.
Everyone has problems. That's part of life. I'm 29 and I don't think I've had a single year since I was about 16 without "major problems" or "serious issues" raising their ugly heads and 2008 is going to be no different for me. Some worse than others, but I wouldn't put off my own happiness to be with someone special because of them.
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A
male
reader, jamie wright +, writes (18 January 2008):
just stay friends i think, i know that is harder than it sounds but it seems the only way out, but on the other hand if she said that she wants to be a better girlfriend then she really wants to be with you.
im sorry for not realy helping get back to me with what happens.
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