A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend that I'm deeply in love with. But I'm also the type of girl that gets along better with guys than I do with girls. here's the problem, every time I meet a guy that I want to be friends with he either ends up liking me way too much, wants me to leave my boyfriend for him or they just want to f*** me. I don't know why this happen, but it just does. and I'm sick of it, I'm tired of always having to tell them to stop or back off. I never give them a reason to think that I like them or want them in any way. people say it's because I joke around a lot and laugh or smile a lot too, but I can't help it it's just who I am. I don't understand how guys can be that stupid and misunderstand it! tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I can do to make them stop because at this rate I won't have a single friend at all soon. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 Well, tune it down ! You can be yourself without being overfriendly or overexhuberant or overcuddly.
I have a friend who complains about your very same problem, she too says "...but I am not doing anything, I am just being myself ! ". It turns out that being herself includes joking around a lot, the kind of flirty, sexy banter you would NOT exchange with a same sex person. She is also very touchy feely and always hugging- holding hands -smoothing hair-sitting on their knees, etc. She smiles a lot ,while making eye contact a lot.
All innocent stuff,sure- and yet NOT the body language that she uses with her female friends, or her colleagues, or her boss at work, or the parish priest.
Bring back your conversation and body language to the more neutral ,non-seductive level you'd use with other ladies, and you won't be sending the wrong messages.
A
male
reader, MugenTj +, writes (19 July 2011):
 I dont know about you, but when I have found my true love, there is hardly enough time to spend with that person. Why bother making friends? Well, that was rhetorical. I'm sorry to break it to you, men are like that. If you don't want to change yourself, then I doubt you can change men.Realistically, if your lover is already great, consider other males as acquaintances, not friends. Keep a safe distance.But I think you should be glad that many people are attracted toward you. Think of that as a complement instead of annoyance and let them down easy, please. ^^
...............................
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (19 July 2011):
 How do you act when you are with these guy friends, and what do you do with them?
If you show affection to them, or party with them, or have long conversations into the night with them, then, yes, they are going to think of you in a romantic way.
But if there is real substance to the friendships, and you share common interests and communicate well, then they are not gonna want to just have sex with you. But if it's a superficial relationship based on flirting and just having a good time, then there's more likelihood of them coming onto you.
Male and female friendships are possible, but there has to be honesty and clear and open communication.
...............................
|
