A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am a sixteen year old girl, and for as long as I can remember, I had always been the best student in class, teacher's pet, straight A's etc.However for the past two years or so, my grades have started slipping badly. I just feel like I cannot be bothered...But at the same time I don't want to end up with no future. I sat my finals this year and failed two of my subjects, to my parents' disappointment and great shock. I don't know what to do, I just feel like life Isn't worth living because there's nothing to do either. I have sleep problems, eating disorder(go for days where I eat constantly and days where I will not even look at food)and I'm generally fed up with my life because my parents give me no freedom.I used to think this was why I have been feeling depressed, but I'm not so sure anymore. How do I get my motivation back? How do I learn to appreciate life?? It is very difficult for me, I have been through a lot, my parents divorced when I was 3 years old, and got back together a few years ago but my father doesn't really bother talking to me....Also I feel tired all the time....physically tired, not sleepy tired, and my mother makes me do all of the housework anyway, laundry, ironing, cleaning the kitchen, the bathrooms, hoover everywhere which takes up more than 2 hours of my life every day as we live in a big house. Basically I feel like my life is utter misery. What should I do?? Please help. Thanks
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female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (18 August 2005):
The adolescent years are some of the most difficult, for children and parents alike. At the moment you have a lot of obligations to yourself and your family to deal with. You are in the midst of intense studying and your family are putting demands upon your time and pressurising you to succeed in your exams. Little wonder that you feel so exhausted and depressed.
Your actions and feelings seem to be symptomatic of some form of depression, so it is important that you see you doctor for advice and assistance with this. Don't try to deal with this on your own. Taking the first steps and admitting to yourself and somebody else that you have a problem is very difficult, but you will feel more empowered and more confident if you take control of the situation. Left unchecked your mental health will decline and it will become increasingly difficult for you to take those vital steps towards recovery.
It seems to me that you are constantly seeking your parent's approval, however it is impossible for you fulfill all the obligations that have been placed upon you. I would urge you to confide in your parents about this- surely they will have noticed that you are upset? Also, it is unfair that you are expected to give your time to housework when you are attemtpting to study and gain good grades. Could you ask your mother to ease off your chores until you have finished your exams? If you explain how important it is that you have time to study- and relax. Having regular rest breaks during study is essential, and will help you to think clearer if you go for a walk, for example.
Everybody needs appreciation and motivating, especially during a crucial time such as exams. If your family are not supporting you, are there any trusted friends, teachers or friends of the family that you could confide in? You shouldn't have to shoulder these burdens alone.
All the best, and good luck in your exams
A
female
reader, amiee  +, writes (17 August 2005):
 heya,
hunny i recomend you go and see your gp because i have the feeling that you are suffering from clinical depression and if theese feelings and sleep and eating dissorders get worse it could be a life threatening situation take it from someone whos sufferd from it. its not unusual at your age to get these feelings infact teenage depression is one of the most common forms of depression.
why not try something out of the ordinary i mean like out of you usual ruteen it could make you feel alot better i know that it makes me feel better but every one is diffrent.
however i feel that you must talk through this with your parents. sit them down and make them listen to what you have to say do not let them start shouting if they do begin an argument simply talk back (dont shout)and say this "dont you see not listening to me is not helping the situation if i can not talk to you about my problems then who can i talk to? i only want you to understand." this showes maturity and will help you on your way to feeling like yourself again. i know it must have been a long time sinse you felt like that.
i know this is a huge step to take but please talk through this with your parents maybe even ask them to come with you to your GP or if you feel you are not ready to go to your GP speak to a local counceler they would probably also give you the same advice that i have given you though.
good luck
remember you can get through this and you will get through this. get those grades back up to stadard and feel great.
amiee X
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