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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a very confusing relationship at the moment and need some advice or a strangers point of view.I have been with my boyfriend for approx 2 years and during this time we lived together. He was always talking about us getting married etc until early this year. His parents at this time split up for good and I'm not sure if this is the reason he changed. But since then, he has been unsure of what he wants to do and says things like maybe he's meant to be single etc. He has recently 'broke up' with me (his words) because he says that he is moving back to his home state where his mum is (and apparently we wouldn't work out down there).Since we both moved out and got separate houses, he has messaged me from day 1 telling me how much he loves me and misses me. I still see him on occassion and recently he has said that I shouldn't of told everybody we had broken up but should of just said that we were having a time out.He has also mentioned that he wouldn't mind if I got pregnant which is quite confusing if he is intending on going home and leaving me for good. Sometimes when I see him he is really sweet and caring , the next time i see him he will act like he doesn't care (eg. made plans to stay night and spend day with him next day, when I got there for night he made plans in front of me for the next day with his mates. He didn't seem to get why I was upset.) But other times he will be so loving. And he will message me at 3 am in the morning on several occassions to let me know that he didn't get up to anything at the pub, that he hasn't replaced me and that he loves me etc etc.The thing is too that since Jan this year he had told me that he didn't know if we were breaking up so I had to wait 7 months to find out for sure, and now he doesn't even seem sure anymore so I'm back to hanging in the air again. My problem is is that I love him.Question: Should I move on from him or should I wait to see what happens? Is he just playing with me or does he seem genuinely confused? Should I be firmer?I just don't get how somebody can walk away from someone they profess to love so much! Please help with your opinions!
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (17 August 2005):
 I think that your ex is taking you for granted. After two years, he knows that you will always be waiting in the wings...why ...because you were always available for messages and visits and stuff. He seems to not know where or what he is headed to right now and there is nothing worse for a woman than experiencing uncertaintiy in her life. It will drive you crazy. No doubt he loves you and you love him but you need to take care of yourself. It has been 7 months and he still can't decide...then you make your decision...how long are you going to wait and see what happens? He knows you are there...so he is just making sure you stay being "there" and not move on. You are his comfort zone so to speak. Be firmer..if he cannot make up his mind by now ..move on honey. Don't waste your life just waiting for him to decide what he wants...What do you want for yourself. Oh no...he should not be doing this to you and you need to assert yourself as a strong self respecting woman and tell him...hey shape up or ship out buddy...walking away for people you love happens all the time and believe me none of us know why. OKay so his parents split so maybe he is having anxieties about it...but he must know you and know the woman you are...communicate with him and see what the problem is and if he still cannot make up his mind..honey do it for him...hit the road buddy..take care of you first....make you happy first...take care...ana
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