A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help.. I'm 18 and in a long-distance relationship. I've been with him for 18months.. and I feel so happy with him.However, my mum has a problem with it. It's not that she doesn't like him.. because she does.. and she also lets me see him for 1-2 weeks at a time. The problem is that she is ashamed that someone will find out (especially her brothers). Even though she comes from a Muslim background.. she is not that religious, so that isn't the problem, she's just very sexist, as well as her brothers (eg. I have a cousin the same age as me.. and even though he has one-night stands, and even cheats on his girlfriends- which is far worse in my opinion than what I am doing, my family just laugh it off, saying thats what boys do).My mum always criticises me about it.. She's even called me a slut (how can I be.. if I've only ever been with one person?!) and blames things that have happened in the family on me.. She even called me a failure, and says she is ashamed of me.This is bringing me so much down and even though I've coped with it for a year and a half.. I dont think I can anymore. I'm thinking of just ending the relationship with my boyfriend to keep her happy.. but, now that I'm losing contact with my friends as I've stopped socialising etc, I would feel so alone, and without feeling any love from anyone, I think I would just feel worse :[My dad has no problem with it at all, but I live with my mum (and can't with my dad, as he is always away.. and busy etc). He comes from the same muslim background.. but he just says, that as long as I'm happy, he is. I just don't see how my mum can't be like this..Thanks for any help x
View related questions:
cousin, muslim Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): You're mum is just being stupid. They do that.
I say continue the relationship, no matter what she does or says.
No parent should ever tell a child they are ashamed of them, whether its true or not.
You are 18, and can make your own decisions. The times your mother lived in are gone, such docile females gave no place in this world.
Go out and have fun, and make some stories to tell you're grandkids.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Well i have been in a position as well to come close to leaving the man that i love just to have my parents happy. You wont get anywhere with it. I have seen people who leave the people they love to keep others happy but they later realize it was a mistake. The more you try and keep others happy, the more you destroy your own heart. If he treats you good and you love him, dont let him go. Your mother loves you and wants whats best for you but sooner or later she'll realize that you love him and whatever makes you happy, it wil make her happy. When parents criticize us, it seems to hurt us the most because they are the one people we want to approve of everything we do and sometimes that is not the case. You are your own person now and she has to realize you make your own decisions. Stay with him and be happy together. Your mother would come around. TRUST ME!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): Your mom is being completely unreasonable. I don't think you should leave your boyfriend to make her happy, because that would make you unhappy. Normally mothers know best, but yours doesn't seem to have any intelligent reasoning for her worries. Is moving in with your boyfriend a reasonable option for the future? Or would that create more problems between you and your mother?I hope things work out well for you.
...............................
|
