A
male
age
41-50,
*ubwhat
writes:My Dilemma: When I started dating my girlfriend, she told me that she didnt sleep with more than one guy at a time..... well, it took me 2 months to actually have sex!! I thought she was worth it... Now i know im stupid for doing this, she left her fb acct open the other day and I had a quick peek at her messages from the time we started dating and there was one from a couple days after to her friend telling her how she had been seeing a 37 year old (shes 25) and then a guy from her work after. Now, im thinking that do you think that she was seeing this guy from her work whilst we started dating? hence why we never had sex for 2 months. I recently find out that she has slept with probably around 30 guys in her life. , im pretty pissed off about all this, how do I approach her to find out if I was the only one or whatever, i just dont know, just looking for a couple ideas or your thoughts.thanks for looking :) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): You don't trust her and her pattern of relationship behavior is repulsing you. That is reason enough to break things off.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Were the two of you in an exclusive relationship for that first 2 months? If not and you were just getting to know each other, then you can hardly complain if she did sleep with someone else, and it's not really your business to know if she did or not. It's possible it took her longer than you to get onto that same page and pursuing a serious relationship with each other.
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A
male
reader, df30  +, writes (19 January 2011):
Well if you got on this website for advice i'mpretty sure your confident she is full of shit and you want to know it all, you probably really like her but no one wants to live the lie and feel like their partner is fake. I would come clean and talk it out snooping isnt as bad as lying about past stuff and especially not cheating on you...You have to know dont attack her but dont back down from it dont live with that in your head for the rest of the relationship
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I think the more crucial question here is: do you trust her? If you trust her, did you have any reason to believe she was two timing you from the start? If you don't trust her... why are you with her?
Figure out if you want to trust her or not. If you think she's been lying to you, or playing you, and you don't trust her, then this will mean a huge problem has arrived to your relationship, and your relationship might very well end because of this. Even if you do talk it through, and she convinces you she's been upfront and honest with you, you now have this enormous problem in your relationship: lack of trust. Not only because you suspect her of cheating, but also that you read through her private messages!!!
So, think about this carefully. Is finding out the truth worth the relationship? And I mean even if the truth is she never cheated? Or, is she trustworthy and perhaps you are the one who is overly suspicious? If it's the last one then forget about what you read and never snoop again, or ever mention this to anyone again. If it's the first... then be prepared for the relationship to end.
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