A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months now and I think that whole honey moon phase is coming to a crashing halt. And well, I don't like it but I'm going to get used to it because I want to be with this guy and that's just how relationships kinda go. But, I don't know how to compromise with it. He's acting kind of stupid lately.. I think I may be smothering him, because I've been so use to being around him 24/7. We got into our first fight about three weeks ago, too. He stopped smoking weed for me at the beginning of our relationship, but then three weeks ago, he asked me if he could start again. I took it as "I have you now, can I start again and go back on my word." And not because it relaxes him, not because of anything BUT "all of my friends are doing it and its hard to say no." I got very angry because not only did this happen, when I asked him if I said no "does he think he'd still do it behind my back anyway" he said "Probably. :(" And well.. after that argument he said it makes it difficult for him to love me as much and that he didn't really have that desire to be around me, but that he WANTED me and wanted to be with me. It's been two weeks since that. And, well.. prior to that event even, he suddenly changed his email password and I asked him why playfully, and he said "just because!" and then yesterday, I was asking him for his class schedule and halfway through he just said "NO! NO MORE!" Why would he hide his CLASS SCHEDULE? I don't get it. I asked him and he said "Because I typed it out at the beginning of the semester for you!" I am his first girlfriend. He's 19 and I'm 20, we're both in college now, and I don't really get the vibe that he is cheating.. I don't think he's capable of it.My gut feeling is that I may be smothering him. Should I just get more distant with him or what? I am a clingy person. I never get bored, it seems. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (19 September 2009):
 How do you get distant? Hrmmm...
Talk to him and tell him you think of giving up the texts. Say there are times that ur busy and u cant answer so its better if you guys stop it for a while. Dont mention calling.
If he does call you,youre good.
If he doesnt, try calling him...sound happy,ask him how his days going and all that. Dont complain or nothing. Cut it short by saying u wanna have an early night.
If he doesnt call after you call him,things arent going well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow do I get distant with him? We text all day long, and he always calls me at night. Should I just ignore some texts/phone calls? What should I say? I wish we didn't text so much, to be honest, but he texts me a lot. So it's hard to not reply.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (18 September 2009):
Sweetheart,yes you are clingy.He's in college and having a clingy girlfriend is the last thing a guy wants! Stop confronting him all the time,and yes, get distant with him.See how he will react. If he cares,he'll eventually do something.Be polite with him,but make up excuses when it comes to seeing him.If he truly cares about you..he'll do something.As for you being his first girlfriend... he might wanna explore more things,if you kno what im sayin,so make sure you have that good good for him! Try sleeping with him,then once its over,kiss him and leave....He will act so surprised I tell ya!Show him he can't take you for granted and you don't spend your life worrying about what he's up to.oh and change your password too!Best wishes!
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