A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old. I know I am not ugly,or fat, but I am self concious about my looks. I have never really been asked out in my life except once for a joke. It makes me feel lonely and rejected what should I do? At primary school I was always the one left out, the one called names. I will freely admit I was quite chubby at primary school but those same people are now at my secondry school, and they have continued the nasty comments, they don't bother me, but i feel like they are putting the others off me. I am also consider 'a bof' I don't believe I should ever have to feel ashamed of my ingellience, but I hate this feeling of rejection and unhappiness. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I understand what you are saying. I am mean I am concentrating on exams, however i do long to have someone there someone who likes me for who I am, I mean yes but I have very good friends,but it doesn't feel enough. I feel like I am missing something in my life.
A
female
reader, XistentialCupcak  +, writes (18 January 2009):
Ya know what? If you think theres nothing wrong with you, theres nothing wrong with you!!! So what nobodies asked you out! The opposite sex at your age ISNT the most important thing!!Think about this...does it help?
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (18 January 2009):
 What I'm gonna say may seem difficult, but I've been where you are now and I think this might help you.
- Look in the mirror every day before school, put on empowering music - music that makes you feel you can take on the world and say to yourself " Those girls will NOT get the better of me today. I know that I'm worth more than that and I will not be made to feel less than I am anymore."
- When you see them approaching, or have to go into a situation where they are likely to say something, stand up tall and walk in with confidence and look them straight in the eye. Don't look at your feet and leave yourself open to attack.
- If they say anything, look them in the eye and say "Is this how you get your kicks? Nice." Or just say " Yeah, bye." If you continue to act like their comments affect you, they will continue. If you act like you're not bothered, they will get bored and move on.
- The reason why people do this at your age is so that they can get cheap laughs out of people just to make themselves feel more positive and seem more popular - it is a sign of insecurity and it is good that you don't think of yourself any less - keep this attitude. It is THEM with the problem. If they feel they have to insult you to make themselves feel better, then what does it say about them?
- The kind of people who are like this are most likely going to be the ones who will end up alone and when they do end up losing those around them. It's a real kick in the teeth for them when they see the person they bullied achieve and succeed in all they do.
Do not change for them. Don't try to be like them. You can and will get through this, just be confident and ignore their comments and remember, if they have to say something against you, they're the ones with the problem.
Take care hun, you can do this.
xxx
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