A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My question is about pictures.My wife and I will be married 3 years this summer. Over time, I have discarded pics of ex-girlfriends. I'm sure there may be some still in an envelope or something, but as I find them, I throw them out.My wife still has pics of ex-boyfriends, and even some of them are in an album in our family room. Our picture albums (I know old stuff, our newer stuff is digital and on DVD's, but we print out the best ones and put them in albums also). I don't have a problem with her keeping some 'generic' pics of ex's. Like, if a bunch of people were at a restaurant, or an event and it's a group pic, I just don't like the 'personal' pics, like where maybe they got someone else to take a pic of them together kissing, or holding hands or something. There aren't any naughty pics per-se, but last week a new friend of hers was over our house, and my wife didn't know I was in the kitchen (I came down the back stairs), and I heard her friend ask who this guy was. It was an ex-boyfriend, and both her and my wife made comments about how good looking he was and what a great body he has (He is only wearing swim trunks in the pic, it's one of the ones I want thrown out).I know we all have a past, but the past is just that, the PAST. It needs to be buried and forgotten and we should think of and concentrate only on your current relationship. I'm really bothered that she not only has kept these pics, but made comments with a new friend about an ex-boyfriends looks and body just isn't right. Am I overreacting? I don't think so.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): it's just talk. my girlfriend and her friends do it all the time, dish about who was the handsomest, best body, best in bed. they swap notes about their exes, say which celebrities they look like, which celebrities they'd like to sleep with, and all that crap. my girlfriend never discusses HER exes when i'm around but i'm sure that when i'm not around she talks about them. i'm sure you've had attractive exes, i'm sure you look at porn, gawk at hot movies stars, women do the same thing, they are just a bit more discrete about it because they dont want to seem horny or perverted whereas men are more open about it. girls talk about it in private. it was a private conversation she never meant to hurt you. i'm sure your body is fine, i'm sure shes not comparing them. anyway if you want to remove the photos, i suggest you buy a small private album and put them in it, take them out of the public album, and put the album somewhere special and safe where your wife knows where it is but where guests wont see it. that way you dont have to look at them but your wife can keep her memories. its a good compromise.
A
female
reader, newbie +, writes (18 January 2009):
I think you are slightly overacting. Old pics and even new comments about her ex are probaly just old fun memories. Women talk dirty quite often about ex and about celebrities but majority of the time its all in fun. I have to agree with you though about the pics of the two of them kissing in an ablum that is beening displayed is a no no. She can keep the pics as long as they are in a picture box in the attic. You should bring that to her attention in my opinion. But I still have all my pics of my ex's but they are all in in a picture box and I only pull them out if there is an outfit or a hairstyle I want to revite or recreate. But she should be able to talk to her girlfriend about anything it's just that you over heard a comment and now it's got you thinking. But its not that serioous unless u see her at the coffee shop with him then you have a problem.
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