A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I turned nineteen about a month ago, I'm a freshman in college, and my ex is still in high school. About a week after I broke up with him, he raped me with no protection. The reasons we broke up was because he physically and emotionally abused me and then decided to cheat on me. Anyways, since then, I found out I was pregnant and I'm currently four months along.My ex, however, thinks I had an abortion two months ago and I don't know what to do with this situation! He's been dating someone else since before we broke up (I can't even the describe the words for that crap considering what I went through with him) and I'm currently pregnant with his child. I was thinking of carrying it to term and then giving it up for adoption. I am pro-choice and everything and wanted that abortion so badly but I simply could not afford it.I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but please, anyone on here who wants to tell me that I did the right thing by keeping it, just keep your opinions to yourself - please! I'm under a lot stress and I don't need that right now.Yes, my family and some of my friends know I'm still pregnant and they know my plan of giving it up for adoption. And they're all fine with that but they told me I would have to face my ex by myself but they don't know what happened in that situation! They still think I tripped on stairs or whatever when I ended up in the hospital after being beaten almost to death! They still think I fell out of a tree when my ex broke my arm in two different places! They still think I was consentual to him four months ago. They still think I'm okay when I don't talk... at all. They think it's like a new phase or something. A phase that lasts over two years???I've expressed everything through words (I'm a writer) but I think I've been silent in real-life for far too long and I feel like I'm about to explode but I can't! I need to stay strong for my family because we're going through some hard-ships right now and they can not afford to send me anywhere and so I'm keeping quiet.Should I tell my ex the truth, though? We were together for two years but things just weren't right between us. The entire time, he made me feel so bad about everything I did or said, so eventually I just stopped doing anything and not saying a word around him and all my friends and family. But if he finds out I'm still pregnant, I'm terrified about what he'd do to me! We haven't seen each other and only talked to each other once since that night he raped me. The reason we talked was to let him know I was pregnant but getting an abortion. Should I or should I not tell him about what's really happening?
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abortion, broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dalmatian +, writes (22 March 2009):
You must tell him since he is the father of the child.
If he finds out later he can challenge any adoption because
he was not involved. He will also have visitation rights.
I suggest you have an attorney contact him to work out the
details. If he wants to see you thats OK as long as you
have a couple of male friends with you. As a father he
does have rights.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): I don't think I'm going to tell him because he might end up punching me in the stomach or something to kill the baby and then walk away. He really is like that. Thank you for both answers, I fully appreciate them!
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A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 Hunny, i'd report him if i was you. Far too many out the get abused and keep quite about it. You say he's dating someone else, what if he treats her the same way he treated you? or anyone he may date after her?
Normally I'd say the father has the right to know about the pregnancy, but in this case I'll say that it's probably better no to tell him.
I'm sorry to hear he treated you like that, no one deserves that! And anyone who has the guts to treat someone like that deserves to be locked up and rot in hell!
I hope you find someone who truly loves you and treats you right.
Good luck with everything xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): this so called man raped you. That is un-forgivable. I'm so sorry for all you are going through.
What you do about the baby is your choice, and I'm not going to judge you at all. This piece of scum who hurt you and raped you deserves nothing. I understand you are hurt that he has a new girlfriend, but you are so much better than he is. You deserve much much more than he can ever be.
Do you reaaly want a man who can do this to you having any say in what happens about YOUR baby. He gave up any rights he had when he hurt you.
if you are worried about him hurting you again, tell your family, friends etc and go to the police.
good luckXXXXXXX
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