A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been in a gay relationship now for four and a half years. Not long after getting with my boyfriend I found out he was chatting to other lads on the internet and swapping naked pictures. When I found out and confronted him about it he said it was all harmless fun.. something I strongly disagreed with and he to his credit deleted all his accounts and as far as I know stopped.Now four years later I have found myself doing it.. but there is a reason. My boyfriend has lost his sex drive and only really wants any sexual contact about once a week, whereas mine has increased and I seem to want it all the time. I've spoken to my boyfriend about this on many occasions and nothing seems to have improved and he constantly rejects my advances.. so one day when chatting to an old friend on facebook we ended up swapping some naked pix etc and the lad wants to meet up if I want to. I'm not sure what to do...I love my boyfriend I really do but it's nice to feel wanted. I'm tempted to have a one night stand and maybe get it out of my system but I really don't want to hurt my boyfriend or should I just carry on sending pictures.Any advice would be well received
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facebook, nude pictures, one night stand, sex drive, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tarawr  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Stop sending pictures, and do NOT cheat on him. It will most likely become a habit. Break up with him if you want to have sex with others. It's not right to put your partner through these things!
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (22 November 2010):
You are thinking about a one-night stand and swapping naked pics because your boyfriend is not fulfilling your needs.You need to take a step back and think about things. Firstly you are getting sex, albeit not as often as you like, and secondly, you say you do still love him.But has your boyfriend said why he's gone off sex?Is it a case that your relationship may be starting to have run its course? or you've lost the sexual spark together? or he is up to something? or he is having problems (of a non-sexual nature).Running its course you can do little about. Sexual spark can be rekindled by introducing new things. If you are determined to have a one night stand, you have to break it off with him first, but to be honest, even after you've had your one-nighter I don't think you'll be left satisfied. There's no love in a one nighter, it's just sex.
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 I think your relationship may be less than what you expect and need. Think about where it is going and whether it is a one-night stand you are looking for a break. If you are sure you do want to be in the relationship, then do not test it by indulging in a 1-nighter.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 you should do neither, dont have a one night stand because if you love your boyfriend like you say you do then you just wouldnt even be thinking about it its selfish, just because you want to feel wanted think about your boyfriend not yourself. And no dont keep sending pictures either am sure it hurt you when your boyfriend done it so dont you do it either, it is disrespectful and if you ask me its cheap. Stop contacting this old friend tell him you are sorry but you made a huge mistake that you are in a relationship with someone you loved and you should never have started this and end it at that.
Start concentrating on your relationship. once a week is not all that bad, there are relationships out there were a partner as to go months on end and they still dont go out and cheat, explain to your boyfriend that your sex drive has went up be honest with him and tell him how you feel, dont tell him about you wanting to cheat on him, but tell him you are feeling unwanted ect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): If you are feeling like you are straying you need to break off with your bf, you are not happy with him and only causing him hurt in future when he finds out you've slept around, remember how betrayed you felt? Honestly, you are not happy with your bf, you both have very different sex drives so go find someone more suited to you. Because if you meet this other guy from fb and have the one night stand, it will not just dissappear, or "get out your system", you will want to do it more often and it will become easier, when it's very wrong and disrespectful if you are in a commited relationship.
So either: Talk to your bf and tell him you want something to change, this way you show you care enough to be honest and willing to work on it together, or if nothing happens after you talk to him, you BREAK up, not go behind his back.
Don't go and disrespect him by sleeping with other people, at least break off with him, then go off with whomever you want. He deserves more than that.
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A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Ok....you dont love him if you are willing to have sex with someone else. And if you arent happy in your relationship then you need to do something about it...do something as in tell him how you feel and go from there. You do that one night stand and you feel guilty and then things will get worst. Talk to him about his sex drive, maybe he is stressed? Maybe he has things going on? Maybe he wants something from you to get that back? Be honest with each other, dont cheat...
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