A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I created a fake profile while pretending to be this really gorgeous girl. Basically I took her photos off online because she has a beauty blog and videos etc so they were very easy to get. I feel bad because there is a cute guy that I talk to all the time online almost everyday. We live far away but we have set times we chat. He always flirts and we 'kiss' and sometimes cyber a little. I like to write him love notes. Once he finds out that's not me, honestly what do you think will happen? I really really like and care for him. Do you think he will be angry or hurt etc?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): I'd say you need to tread carefully here.If you look somewhat like the person in the photo then you may be lucky in that he won't really notice the difference, and perhaps he'll see past that because he genuinely likes you based on your personality. But if he's really hurt you did this and if he's perhaps the spiteful type, he may find out the truth, locate the person who's [probably copyright protected] image you've used (I'm assuming the well-known 'panacea81'), likely without permission, and report you for copyright infringement, which may be a costly experience for you.Right now, it sounds like he's really into you, but this may be based on both personally and [faked] looks.It's not easy for me to even say this next thing as it sounds harsh (so not the sort of guy I am), but it's the truth. You should face the music, and tell him the truth somehow. "You've made your bed, you'll have to lie in it". This doesn't necessarily mean you've got to do this the harsh way. You could perhaps do it subtly...an idea might be to somehow give or show him a real picture of you and ask him what he thinks of that person's looks. If you perhaps can't face doing this directly (as in 'live chatting' with him), then perhaps you could just send him a message with the truth in it, along with the photo. In this message, you should tell him that you honestly do "really really like and care for him", and perhaps explain why you did this too.Unfortunately you are just going to have to bite the bullet here and, I guess, hope for the best!On a final note though, back in April I finally met someone I've been talking to online for a while. The pictures of her were amazing, but when I met her in person she looked noticeably different. I still feel for her exactly as I did before I met her. I'm not saying she did what you've done, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not all about looks, personality matters too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): I am in the middle of the same thing ... it started out just for fun ,i sent fake photo's and he uses his cam ,i know what he really looks like and he does look his age ..but i wont use a cam .I am in over my head and he is in love with menow ...I fell for him first and we have enjoyed talking so very much ,now i find out he is takeing a job not to far from where i live and i am so scared of hurting him.I know what i have done is terribly wrong ,now i have to face the consequences .I have no idea why i let this go so far.If i stop talking to him completly do you think he would eventually give up?Oh my God what was I thinking.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 Of course he will be mad, why shouldn't he be ?
Would you not be mad if you 'd find out that the cute guy you think you are talking to ( and having cybersex with ) is actually a fat balding 50 something old fart ?
This guy is history, IMO. But, that's not necessarily a bad thing, au contraire.
Don't get stuck on vapid cyber romances, - go out , mingle, meet people IRL, - at your age it's much healthier.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 I just want you to think about this from a different perspective.
What if HE is also showing you fake photos?
What if he also looks nothing like the cute guy....
What if he isnt a cute guy, but a 50 year old man pretending to be a cute guy?
How would you feel about that?
Online chatting is so very dangerous, you have no idea who is on the other end. You lied. What makes you think he isnt as well?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): The best way to understand how would it make him feel to find out about your fake photos is to ask yourself how would you feel when discovering you were mislead like that by someone you really liked! Unfortunately, it may already be too late even to recognize your fault as you have all the chances to lose both his trust and interest in maintaining your relationship with him.
Lying when dating online will only bring your troubles, as you can see from here: http://www.imyours.co.uk/datingblogs/reasons-why-lying-when-dating-online-brings-you-troubles/
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): This is actually a guy responding to you, so you'll get a very honest reply from me. I've had this happen to me, in fact it was only recently that the girl finally fessed up. For almost four months she made me believe she was some pretty light skinned girl, then turns out she's dark skinned and a bit chunky. It turns out she has very low self esteem about herself, and so she did that so I could like her. I'd tell you to be honest with him now, don't wait another day, because if you do it'll only make him more upset that you waited that long. And don't be surprised if he ups and leaves. It's dishonest, and no matter how 'shallow' you think he'll be, you can't deny the fact that you lied about how you looked and strung him along on a lie.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 April 2012):
 Yep, don't be fake whether you are online or in real life..
WHY would you send him a fake photo anyways?
Sorry honey you need to fess up and stop faking life, you are NOT that woman, so stop misusing her photos.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 He will probably wonder what else you lied about. And, if he liked the picture, not you, then he will also dump you.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 April 2012):
Well you're basically lying to him, so expect him to be upset. He thinks he's talking to this "really gorgeous" girl.
Unfortunately, most people are pretty shallow (men and women) and he may not want to talk to you anymore if you ever decide to tell him. I used a dating website for a bit and I had guys tell me all the time that girls would post pictures that looked nothing like how they really looked. That was enough for them to not want to talk to them anymore and it was an actual picture of them, just at a good angle!
If you honestly think this is never going to go anywhere, then who cares? You guys are young. I used to lie to guys all the time in chatrooms when I was a teenager. I'm kind of glad I did now...looking back now, a lot of them were pervs and liars too.
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female
reader, joannni +, writes (13 April 2012):
as soon as you tell him you're a fake. he will stop talking to you. end of. cause main reason he was talking to you is because he's attracted to the girl you're faking to be. he might not be attracted to the real you.
so tell him the truth, then he says bye
keep on lying, and he stays.
if i were you...next time it wont hurt to just be yourself. thats the main reason we were born. good girl.
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (13 April 2012):
 Yes, he will be angry. If not angry, then he will think you're a psycho and a liar, at least. Don't even bother telling him at this point- if all you do is chat once in awhile, I don't see any harm in continuing the lie. HOWEVER, if you think that at ANY point in time in the future you two would actually meet, you should tell him the truth right away. However, if you tell him the truth, don't be surprised if he stops contacting you. It's a very weird and dishonest act to pretend that you are someone else...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): Hey... i think u should tell him the truth because if u really like this guy he'll maybe want to meet in person..... but if you're just messing around trying to have fun have at it but realize the longer you keep up this lie the madder he will get
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 How will he find out it's not you? And do you honestly see a future with this man?
I don't think this man (or boy, you don't say his age) cares either way. It sounds like he is having some sort of sexual relationship with you by cybering, and no offense but that reduces you from girlfriend to free porn. Whatever picture you used clearly makes him hot for you in a sexual way, which is why he even bothers to contact you. Trust me, I've met my share of online men looking for a quick fix. They couldn't care less about who you actually are, but enjoy the fantasy of who you are.
I have guys who send me kisses and would more than gladly cyber, I've even gotten marriage proposals online. By men who I've talked to for years, but they don't really know me, nor do I have an interest in ever meeting them in real life.
You're just his fantasy. Nothing more. You're not his girlfriend, he's not in love with you, and you most likely will never meet in real life seeing as you live far away from each other.
I know this because I've been to tons of online forums over the years. In some I use my real photo. I others I use fake accounts. I've also said I was a man instead of a girl. I know the different responses I get. My bet is that if this guy knew what you originally look like he probably wouldn't have started to talk to you. That speaks volumes of his true interest in you.
Then again, I see no harm in continuing this charade. He doesn't have to ever find out, as long as you remember that you and him can not be real life boyfriend and girlfriend. Ever. Because you used a fake picture, and so the entire relationship you have with him is fake. To be honest though, he is probably faking tons of things as well.
PS. If he's actually someone you consider a real friend then he wouldn't care what fake picture you used. But seeing as he is sending you kisses and cybering with you I don't think he considers you a friend even. Do not mistake online flirting for a real genuine interest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): He may be both because he is liking and maybe crushing or falling in love with a lie.
Let me ask you something, if you found it wasn't some cute guy but some older, icky pervert of a man- would it hurt you?
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