A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been best friends since high school and now we are in our last year at 6th form, getting ready to leave for uni. All our friends say we flirt with each other way too much and act like we are a couple. Even though we or so i think are both straight, she also has a boyfriend who she has been seeing for over 8 month now, and she seems so in love with him, and he does her.The thing is, i seem to be in love with my best friend. I am totally straight, i've never fancied or even loved another girl in this way. In high school, we were once at a party and we were taking and drinking everything. We went out into the garden for a smoke, and for a few moments we just stopped talking and were gazing into each others eyes, for what seemed ages. All of a sudden i just had a huge urge to kiss her; being totally intoxicated i did so, not thinking of the consequences. To my surprise she kissed me back, grabbed my hand and we ran around the house somewhere more private, giggling and kissing each other. It felt so right, and from that moment on i have been totally in love with her. The next day when we woke up was really awkward and i could tell my friend couldn't look at me when i spoke to her, she seemed ashamed and distant with me. After a while i made an excuse saying it was the drugs that made us do it; to make her feel better. And she quickly agreed saying it would never happen again and no one is to find out. Her words hurt me, because i really wanted to believe she liked me too and that it wasn't a mistake.We got back to being good friends, started college, seeing other boys. Whenever we went out or to party's and i saw her kissing boys, my heart sank. It really hurt, and i wondered if she ever thought about the night at high school. I use to go with boys, just to try and forget about my feelings for her, but they never disappeared. It never felt right. When she started seeing her boyfriend i hated it, i didn't want to see her with him at all, but i just got use to it.She's been seeing him for about 8 months, and last night me her and some other friends went out to a few clubs. Me and my best friend went into the toilet together to take some coke we had bought. The cubicle was so small and we were pushed together really close. When i was taking a line, i could feel her staring straight at me, i looked up at her and she didn't flinch, she was gazing straight into my eyes and gave me the most irresistable grin ever. I stayed put and didn't make a move or say a word i didn't want to ruin the moment. Right then she kissed me and then pulled back to look at me again, still grinning she said ' say something then'... i just laughed and pulled her head towards mine and we kissed and touched each other.After about half an hour we went back to join our friends. Me and my best friend were dancing together and still kissing eachother on the dance floor, too drunk to bother about any one else. At about 5 everyone had enough and we got a cab home, we all live close and me and my best friend was the last ones in the cab. When it pulled up to her house, she looked me straight in the eye, kissed me, bit her lip and said 'love you meg'. This morning i cant stop thinking about her and what happened last night, it was the best night of my life. She usually rings me or texts me the morning after a night out and so far she hasn't. So i text her first saying 'feeling rough this morning?' but ive had no reply. I think she is already regretting last night, but i can't help but think she made the move on me, and told me she loved me. Do you think it was the drink/drugs, or do you think she has feeling for me too, because its really hurting and confusing me now!(sorry its so long)
View related questions:
best friend, drugs, drunk, flirt, has a boyfriend, kissing, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (27 May 2009):
 i think drugs are an excuse in this case. its difficult to say though as people can have a change in sexual preference under alcohol (moreso than any other drug i have tried though coke does make you very horny). i am gay but fancy women when drunk. if she knows you love her though its hardly fair to tease you when drunk, as its only gonna stir your feelings.
how is she when she is sober, its always the body language that tells the truth...
A
female
reader, summerslady21  +, writes (27 May 2009):
Well honey this is a tough one! It could have been just the drugs and drinks! Or she may just be scared of her feelings! There are a lot of things she could be thinking and feeling! Maybe you and her should get together and go get a bite to eat and you need to tell her you are a bit confused and you yourself are a bit worried about what will happen now that you hve had 2 uncounters like this! I'm sure bein friends for so long you don't want to loose that friendship! But it is something you both need to figure out! Do this sober and you may get the true answer!
...............................
|
