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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a partner of 3years and we are due to get married next July. I love him to death but there is a guy at work I think is really nice n gorgeous and he is a bit older than me and married. We get on so well and flirt alot. Do i tell him how I feel or just leave it alone. How can i tell if he feels the same. So confused please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006): im getting married but feel sooooo pushed into it i still wanna mess about
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): If you're having fun and wanting to know how another guy feels, your future (and present) relationship with your boyfriend is and will be a sham.
Call off the wedding. You may be embarrassed at having to do it but it'll save you much bigger problems down the line. Take it from someone who's been there. And by that, I don't mean take it further with the married guy either. Respect his marriage, even if he doesn't appear to be doing it.
Your Mr Right is someone you haven't yet met.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (26 August 2006):
 The guy at workis older and gorgeous and married, and what? He is MARRIED, you are about to be married, who cares that he is gorgeous, my dear, there are millions of gorgous men out there, where I work, I see loads, some married, some not, but if this guy is married, it makes no difference if he is good looking. Two relationships could be on the line, his marriage and you may not even have one if you pursue this. I flirt with men all the time, its human nature, but I think I can do that because I am single, there is no man that I come home to every day lie nextto every night, there is no engagement ring on my finger, so to me when I flirt with a guy providing he isnt married, I think its justified. My ear, your relationship is importantm dont ruin it. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): you are probably just nervous about getting married. so you turn to a safety net-flirting. However if you are already considering adultery then maybe you should postpone the wedding just so you can sort out how you feel. Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (22 August 2006):
 All I can advise is to call the wedding off. It may be you're having feelings for someone else as your single life come to an end, but personally I would say that if you are having any such feelings for another man, you are not happy enough with your fiance and shouldn't get married. If you were, you wouldn't be interested in ANY other person. It will be hard but in the long run it'll be better for everyone if you wait and see what you want, how you feel etc. Ask yourself this: if you pursue the man you fancy and he likes you too, what will you do? Have an affair and think everything will be ok? Or finish with your man? If you pusue and he doesn't like you, will you just carry on with your wedding plans? I think if you're attracted to someone else now, chances are you will be again during your marriage. Either way, I don't think it's right to enter into such a huge commitment with these doubts, it'll just end in tears. He's also married and so you are risking breaking up his marriage too, for what? A fling? Flirting is dangerous and it's naive of people to think there's such thing as innocent flirting. You are obvioulsy attracted and yet he may not want to do anything, so be very careful. Good Luck but don't get married just because it's in the calendar.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Woah! Where do you think your marriage will go if you are considering being unfaithful whilst you are engaged?
You need to ask yourself a very serious question: do you really love your fiancee and do you want to marry him? If you do, put all ideas and plans to be unfaithful right out of your mind, and stop flirting with this guy at work. Or, if you don't (and it sounds like you might not...) then call off the marriage, righth away.
It is totally unfair and unethical to go through the planning of this marriage (and getting married) to your fiancee whilst behaving the way you are. You will end up destroying your fiancee, the man you claim to love...
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 I think that you should leave it. Its perfectly natural to get these feelings just before you get married. You are just getting cold feet and your starting to realise that if you get married you can only have one guy. This older guy is married and you can never have a future with him. Is it worth losing someone you love and a happy future over something that is just physical attraction? No it is not. Be sensible and keep as much distance as you can from this older guy. Good luck with your future and enjoy married life.
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