A
male
age
41-50,
*azz
writes:Hi, I wonder if anyone could give me some useful advice.I'd be very grateful. I am 27 year old male, of small build (171 cm tall, slim, from the UK. Soon I'll be 28 years old (July). I am still at university, studying chemistry (well , I am a late starter, but that's another story). I am quite successful in my academic studies, but I have a non-existent social-life. I am very depressed over the fact that, at the age of 27-28, I am still a virgin and have never had any girlfriends/sexual relationships. In a few year's time, I'll be 30, which is 'old'. I feel so bad that I have contemplated ending my life. Most of the girls at my University are typically younger than me , from about 18-23 years old. There are a few mature students, but not many. I personally see nothing wrong, both legally and morally, with dating dating a younger girl of 20+ years old; in fact, I prefer younger women (no younger than 20, though). I only look about 23 years old anyway. Do I have any chance with younger girls (from my Uni. for example?). Girls seem to 'see-through' me, like I do'nt exist. Not many girls on the sidewalk/street or on campus show me attention; none of them look at me or smile at me as though I am a physically attractive man. In fact, some women make comments, like: "He looks ugly", etc. I have started to go to the gym and increase my calorie/protein intake, in an attempt to bulk-up my body and become more physically attractive and 'man-like' towards the opposite sex. But, that does not change my personality. I find it very difficult to meet and to talk to girls. I do not want to lose my virginity for the sake of it; with any random woman. I want a boyfriend-girlfriend type of sexual realtionship; something that is meaningful. If I was just after sex, I would have lost my virginity to a prostitute years ago! What can I do to improve my situation? I can not change my body much ( I can not be any taller, but I could bulk-up and become more muscular by doing gym work). Most women like fit-looking, 'not too skinny', muscular men; although I think this is very superficial. When I am at nightclubs, I just stand there, like a statue. I am too serious as a person and am unable to let myself go and enjoy the company of other people. Too serious= boring, I suppose. I fear that I have a boring personality. I do'nt have much to say about myself; although if I had lost my virginity, I'd feel like a completely different person- a lot more confident. I do'nt think that I am 'too old' for nightclubs/clubbing. What do you think? Because of my lack of experience with relationships or sexual experience in general, I feel that
View related questions:
depressed, lost my virginity, prostitute, still a virgin, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 My answer remains the same, regardless.
DV1
A
male
reader, gazz +, writes (25 May 2007):
gazz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNB: please note that this particular question is incomplete; I accidentally submitted it prematurely.
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 May 2007):
It sounds like yu need to be happy with yourself first. If you're ready to love someone, why not find someone within your program of studies? If there's a girl there that you haven't talked to, introduce yourself. You'll share something in common, and you'll be able to help each other create a future...
DV1
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): Hi there from a female in the UK - It can be hard to make friends and have a social life when you are starting from scratch but would recommend that if you like dancing, or think you might, you try Ceroc - look it up at ceroc.com This is a brilliant way to meet people - male and female and of course the idea is to dance but it is very polite, great fun and you learn something new. I have been many times on my own and I've never felt nervous or that its a meat market. There are tall and small guys there - large and small - and the women love dancing with them all because its just very sociable and you all mix round. You have nothing to lose - just try it once. I did and I was smiling for about 3 days. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Hey, I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with skinny guys. Really, I would take a guy with brains any day over somebody who looked gorgeous. And seeing as there's one of me here, that means that there must be more girls like these in the world. I'm sure you have them on campus as well =)
About your social skills; it's very hard to have a conversation with somebody who doesn't want to give anything back but one-word replies. Try to open up a bit, give a bit of yourself. Frank B Kermit's idea of writing lists seems really good.
And when it comes to night clubs, maybe you can get a few dance classes or something so that you will feel comfortable with moving a bit to the music and not standing there stiff as a christmas tree.
As for the girls not noticing you, try a friendly smile and see if that works. Make it your task to smile to each person a day. Maybe you won't make a girlfriend that way, but you will sure come across as a bit friendlier and more approachable.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Hey dude, You suicidal thoughts are normal for a guy in your situation. I give a seminar for adult aged virgins, and your story is very common.
You need to make building a social life a PRIORITY. No matter what your studies, you MUST dedicate one night of the week to go out and socialise.
Next, you can not do anything about being a little guy, but you can do everything about the way you come across. Do you dress with dignity and good hygene? Are your shoes clean and fingernails trim? Are your shoes scuffed at all when you go out?
Being healthy is always good, so ifyou want to put on muscle, it is always a good idea.
What are your conversation skills like? When you talk to people, do you know how to make them feel good without just spitting out compliments?
Here are some examples...start with these conversation topics:
10 best child hood memories
10 peak life experiences
10 emotions you want a woman to experience with you.
WRITE out the stories mentioned above. THEY will be great converation tools.
I just wrote a book and you can get a FREE PREVIEW of the whole book 278 pages on the internet. Go to lulu.com and do a search under the name of Frank B Kermit. Then click on the book entitled: I'm a man, that's my job. Choose the 6x9 version of the book. THen click the Preview this book, option. You will be able to read the whole thing without buying it UNTIL May 31st!
I think you will find some of the answer you seek there on how to become a better seducer of women.
I know guys close to 40 that go to nightclubs, and they have tons of fun. It is not your age...it is your WILLINGNESS.
-Frank B Kermit
franktalks.com
...............................
|
