A
female
age
30-35,
*tsAworry
writes:Hello, I have a real problem and I desperately need it fixed. It includes, relationships, dating, love and sex all in the one.About three years ago I met my first proper boyfriend. I had been innocent until him, I lost my virginity too, we ended up having sex pretty much every day, twice a day, maybe 3 times a day, once even 9. He was my first love, and I have already read up first loves are the ones that you never recover from. Anyway, me and him only lasted 9months, not very long at all, but no matter how long it has lasted your first love always makes an impact. He turned into a monster near the end and we just took different paths, a path that included never talking again. Ever since I haven't been able to feel emotions as strongly as I used to. It's as if a light was turned off.I still loved him, and I rebounded to someone else, I ended up using this person a lot in sex. He told me he loved me and I broke it off, I wasn't ready for anything. So after this guy I moved on, Me and one of my closest friends got together, He was a virgin, and we kept it that way. I moved away and we broke apart, But I felt something for him, I missed him a lot when I moved.I began to play a lot of PC games and met people online, one person in particular, I grew a fondness for, and we were inseparable (online) for 6 weeks, But then I slept with my best friend and felt terrible. So I lost contact with him. And nothing more became of me and my best friend.I moved back home and got together with my closest friend, I broke his virginity, but he definitely does not have as high a sex drive as I do. We have been together for over a year now.Now all of a sudden I received an email from my first love, A very long letter of apology. I got back in contact with him. It has been a week so far and I already met up with him, It was just to chat of course, But all my old feelings are coming back for him. I know I should stay away, my mind tell's me too, My heart is ripped in 2, My body tell's me to go to him.I want him so much, Yet I don't. I'm not sure if I will be able to stop myself if it came to it. I love my boyfriend, But I love my ex still. My boyfriend isn't filling my needs of.. sex, It's maybe once every second Month if even! But my ex, I could have him, Any time.I don't want to go back to what I left in the first place, He has already lied so much in the last couple of days, He said he didn't have a girlfriend, he said she was a stalker. But he is at her's now! And I know exactly what they will be doing. It breaks my heart, Not just that I know this, But that I care about this. I do love my Boyfriend, I'm stuck in a Limbo.I'm sorry this is so long, But I need your help. My mind is a mess, I have no were to go, No one to tell. What should I do?
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best friend, lost my virginity, my ex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 If you have trouble trusting your first love, it is best to stay away from him unless you somehow see that he has changed. Stop dating, stop having sex for a while. Get your mind sorted first. In your life right now, there is debris of shattered heart all over the place and you need to let the dust settle before you clear everything up.
One day you can start dating again, when you are ready, when all this has faded away.
I hope that helps.
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