A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.I am confused about some things at this stage and I need some help. I am 22 and I have a mixed feelings about sexual likings. Recently, when I feel hot or in the mood, I am getting thoughts to have sex with men! I have such feeling since last more than a year. Like when in the mood, I thought to giving blowjob or getting penetrated in back too much. I really don't have any romantic or emotional feelings towards boys or men but when I feel sexy, I feel to be used by hot men.Somehow at that time I feel a great need of "to be used" by men. Don't know why? Fact is till the time, I never met a guy for this purpose and never had any such connection. I wanted to know why I am getting these thoughts and a great need when I am feeling hot and sexy.Thanks!
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male
reader, alternaterealities  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 So about a year ago you started getting sexually excited about guys but nothing emotional.
If its becoming so dominating, maybe you should experiment and see if you like it? Did you experiment growing up? Most people usually do when they hit puberty and try things with friends (big and small).
There's nothing wrong with what anyone likes. You can like both.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 November 2010):
Hi there. You don't say this, but have you ever been with a woman?
The only way to really know if you are gay or bisexual is to work out if you are attracted to women at all or only to men?
I guess it comes down to experimentation. Otherwise, you will never know.
The other possibility, is that it is simply a fantasy and something you would never consider actually doing in real life. In fantasies you can dream up anything, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything much. It's usually all in the mind and doesn't have to be put into action.
It's really only you who can say what you feel.
It also depends on whether these thoughts worry you or upset you in any way.
Sometimes people go on in their lives going out with the opposite sex and making love, but their hearts are not in it. It's possible to be in denial because of fear of being judged harshly by others. This is also a reason to keep quiet about it for many years. This is something you have to consider as well.
Think about what you feel towards women sexually, and what you feel about men sexually. Then go from there.
It's really a decision only you can deal with.
It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of if you realize you are gay or bisexual. You are what you are, just as long as you are true to yourself always and accept who you are unconditionally. You have to be happy with yourself.
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