A
female
age
41-50,
*arcilene
writes:Time with friends, not with me. Now we break-up but we still living together because he cares about me and I can't leave him cuz I love him so much and that's the reason I'm still living in the same house. But it hurt me a lot because all the time when I see him get ready to go out, it makes me feel really sad, and I can't sleep well with out him. He said that he don't want to leave me, he wants me around, but he don't love me, he said that. He doesn't know what he wants, so after our break-up he started to go out with another girl, but I'm still love him and I can't go out with another guy because I just want him. So dear I just want to know what I have to do to feel better and what I can do to forget him and leave him. I need your help please tell me something.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): I know what you're going through. My ex broke up with me last week and I'm hurting whereas he's moved on, only a day after breaking up he was seeing a girl he met just before we broke up. He lied and cheated on me but I still I love him and it hurts that he shows no compassion to my feelings. We live together and I have said I'll spend the night at my parents but always end up coming back. We're even sleeping in the same bed. Nothing seems real, he goes out to see her (he says they are just freinds but he lied to me a first, so I suspect it's more). He was at her house last night and I just couldn't stop crying. Nearly 3 yrs, a mortgage and he's over me in a couple of hours.We've had a difficult relationship, he's broke up with me twice before. The first I begged him back when he said he wasn't in love with but he now says that is when it was dying. The second time he begged me back after cheeting on me and me cathing them in our house. He said he loved me and was in love with me and wanted us to work through it but on Saturday. We went out and I kissed a girl (the girl he's now seeing, he's known her for yrs on and off). I did it for him, with his permission. I'm not a lesbian but I thought at the time it would make him think he had the coolest gf. I suspect he see's it as revenge. My head is so confused. I apologised and explained I forgave him for cheeting on me and I did it to please him but he says he is definatley outa love with me and does not want to get bk. He says he lied to me about being in love with because he wanted to get the feelings back but realised on my bday he couldn't. He left on my 21st, I hate him for that but feel I want him back.
A
female
reader, jenna34  +, writes (26 February 2008):
everybody has had to deal with heartache. It is not supposed to feel good packing up and leaving him. that is how you do it and if you are waiting for it to not hurt you will be there forever
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): He is just messing with your head and i think one of you should move out of the house NOW! Walk away and start a new life for yourself. He is going out and with others yet you live under the same roof and you say you still love him, get real! you cannot mentally and physically go on like this any longer.take carexx
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (23 February 2008):
 Hi, Things in life are not always going to go as we would like them to, especially in the case of love and emotional attachment. Think about the situation, he has admitted he doesn't love you anymore. But he wants you to stay withhim, relationships take time to get over, so it would seem to me, that the longer you remain in the same home with him, it will take you that much longer to move on emotionally. He is dating someone else, that has to hurt you, as you feel you still love him a lot. This to me is torture, and it is obvious that he does not care enough to shield you from the knowledge that he is seeing someone else. What will you do if he brings someone home?I think his ego is being stroked, with you staying there and accepting this situation, as he sees other women. Are you not worth better? Please do not allow yourself to be used, as he is using you, hopefully there are no sexual relations taking place between the two of you, although this is your life. Take a walk somewhere by yourself and really think about what is going on, there are many forms of abuse. If you think his love for you might return, I think you are certainly causing that to be less likely , if you continue to stay there. It's a big world out there, do not be afraid to fly, there will be someone who will care for you and treat you with love and affection. He was honest with you, but you must increase your self-esteem, love yourself, you deserve better, don't let your love turn you into a slave of sorts. Your emotional needs should be met, and your mental health is important, this situation is possibly leading you into depression, not a good thing. Take that walk, talk to an older confidant who can be discreet but objective. It is most important that we love ourselves, for in doing that we can love others in a healthy way. Be good to yourself, leave as soon as you can, move on withyour life before you begin to think that you deserve the way he has been treating you, you don't, be good to yourself. Demand respect, and people will respect you.You will survive, believe in yourself. There will be a greater love in your life, but my feeling is that you have to release yourself from this bondage. Take control of your destiny, you have the ability. Best wishes for a brighter future.
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A
female
reader, sue88  +, writes (23 February 2008):
Love should be easy flowing, effortless and amazing. love is DEFINATELY NOT 1way love street.He dont love you? So why does he want you around?Men are a different species but dont let him walk all over you, have a bit self respect and walk away. YOU do it so YOU have control for a change not him. you cant let him have his security blanket and his cake somewhere else. Put your foot down and either move out or tell him to gp, which ever is easier and less hassel.Get Rid of him, Good LuckSuex
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A
female
reader, marcilene +, writes (23 February 2008):
marcilene is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi dear thanks a lot for your opinion, it gonna help me a lot. I'm gonna try to change my life it's hard for me but I wanna live and get well again.
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A
male
reader, 7th Seeker  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Hey there, hopefully I can help.
I think this guy is messing you around. You say you still love him, and he's told you he doesn't feel the same way. Saying he doesn't love you, but still wants you around, is (in my opinion) quite selfish. Does he know how much this hurts you?
Tell him he can't have it both ways. If you aren't together, I think it's best for everyone involved if you parted ways. He has to make up his mind about what he wants.
If its your place he's living at, tell him to leave. If you're living at his place, maybe stay somewhere else for a few days to collect your thoughts, then decide if what you want to do.
Even though it will be hard to leave, you can't keep going through this. In the long run you'll be better off moving on. And I don't think you'll be able to move on while your living together, you need distance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): get the hell out of there and away from him.
youre wasting your life on him. and you ONLY get one.
if he is doing those things, he is NO"T the guy for u...or anyone! he's a spoiled sleezeball & the love u THINK u feel is an illusion for the love you have of a picture in your head of what u want him to be...NOT what he truly is.
which is a dog. an inconsiderate dog of a boy.
who should die alone 4 stringing someone he knows loves him so much along just cuz he can. he is sadistic. get away from him! run!
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