A
female
age
51-59,
*orn2
writes: Feeling torn...meaning my heart. I have been in a long term relationship for 6 years. We had a child together. She is now 2. He is still legally married but has been separated for probably 5 1/2 years of our relationship. We recently moved from Texas to another state. He talks of marriage very often and even says things like "at our wedding"; "when we get married"; he even said a few times it would be in 2008; then New Years Eve of 2009. He introduces me as his wife. In the back of my mind I am thinking; I can't be your wife if your still married. The divorce issue keeps being put on...the kids or the cost of it...or this or that. Why won't he do it? Really? I am feel I am not loved enough by him for him to let go of his past marriage and take the step w/me. How much longer do I wait? I feel degraded. Like I'm still just the "other woman"!
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female
reader, Angel dust +, writes (7 November 2007):
I can imagine how you feel and keep thinking about it will definately put pressure on you and your relationship. The way he talks heseems like he is reallly happy with his new family if its not he wouldnt talk about the future together. The best thing you can do is talk to him quietly and let him understand how you feel. Sometimes us women tend to get jealous abit thinking that our man had other women before us that were important to him but he is with you now. You have a stable relationship of 5 years and a little angel together.... Probably you thinking about his previous marriage more than he thinks about it. So talk to him as comunication and trust are 2 best elements of a relationship. :)
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 November 2007):
Let him know how you feel. This is really not fair to you. Also when you do mention this. Until he is divorced, he is still financially liable for anything his wife does. If she bounces checks, he's liable for repayment. It could become a huge detriment by waiting longer.
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