A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,I'm still finding it hard to get over a boyfriend who broke up with me a year ago. Our relationship was very serious from the outset and he told me he loved me after two weeks. I felt the same way and things were going great until he turned round and ended things out of the blue. He didn't give any clear reasons other than he felt too young to be so serious with me. After a lot of crying, on both our parts, he told me that he had never felt like this about anyone and he would like to think we might get back together in the future. He was keen to stay friends and for the first few months, he would still ring and text me. However, this was too painful for me so I did what I thought was best and asked him to cease contacting me so I could try to heal. This went ok for a few months until he started ringing me in the midle of the night, then texting me again and asking to catch up. Of course this made me think he might want to get back together, but when I finally put him on the spot about what he was doing, he said he was just trying to be friendly. Again, I said I couldn't be friends with him, but a few weeks later, he called again. I ignored him, but recently, I started thinking maybe I should just try to be friends, so we've been in contact a little. I'm so confused! I feel as though I've tried every way I can to get past feeling like this and it hasn't worked.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): An older male friend of mine once broke up with the woman of his dreams because he figured there were plenty more fish in the sea like her. He claims it is his only regret in life, because by the time he realized how wonderful she was, Miss Wonderful had met a man who KNEW he wanted her. Unfortunate for friend, but not so unfortunate for Miss Wonderful who gets to live happily ever after.
You can choose to wait for him to come around, but with most men, that is sometime in their mid-to-late thirties. You can also choose to move on, and finish college, sae up for that back packing trip through Europe, or whatever YOU want to do...This type of man is the type who wants what he can not have, so if you want him back and are prepared to live a life of ignoring him to keep him...er...steady, then keep pushing him away...
My way? Move on, you deserve Miss Wonderfuls happy ending...also, read through "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It helped me get understand all those Mr. I-am-not-readys. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 this exact same thing happened to me 6 years ago.
the guy dumped me out of the blue then got another girlfriend straight away. then he dumped her and started sleeping with me again- even though he had another girlfriend who he was cheating on all over the place.
he also said that one day he would like to get back together to keep me baited
i let this happen because i was so desperatly in love with him. only after nearly a year did i end all contact with him and finally managed to move on
then a year later we bumped in to each other and he spent the next 2 years trying to get back together with me but by this point i was already in another serious relationship
your guy cant handle commitment and you dont deserve to be the one he messes around. dont fall into the same trap as me. he either wants you or he doesnt
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 From the sound of it, he's scared of commitment. He's calling you in the middle of the night because he feels alone, and you're the person that makes him feel better. He knows that he loves you, but I don't think that he's prepared for his own feelings. When you confronted him in person, he probably wasn't prepared and said the first thing that popped into mind. Sit him down, and have a long conversation with him. It sounds like you two both need closure, for better, or worse.
DV1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): hiya iv just read what you wrote and im in the same situation, i got 'dumped' and i didnt no how to handle the situation so i told him to stop all contact and he did for a bit but recently he's been getting in touch again and im getting mixed feelings from him but i did make the mistake of slepping with him again one night! I think the best thing is to concentrate on other things and not have any contact so you can get over him!
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