A
male
age
41-50,
*onfusedsoul
writes:I have this idea of building a family of my own where everyone does what they are supposed to and by mutual co-operation, like a wife cooks, a husband earns, etc. without telling anybody or controlling/disciplining anybody. It seems that i am quite rigid about it. Does anyone think that this can work? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 I think it is possible, but you must adhere to certain realities.
Firstly husband works, and wife takes care of the house...can work IF the husband earns enough money to support such a lifestyle, and if the wife WANTS to be a home maker.
AS far as no control or discipline goes, if you mean you wife, then it is important to find someone with similar values to you, and wants the same thing as you...it will be the challenge.
As for the kids, all children need discipline, but rasing them with a family team spirit from an early age might help in this case. You must factor in such influences as media, friends and scial environments.
I am not mormon, but I do beleive some of their family values and weekly family night practices might help in this manner. Then tend to exemplify the type of family strucutre you are looking to build. I do not know much else about their religion. Sorry.
-FBK
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Yes, of course it can work. However, realistically, in today's world..it quite often takes two income earners to make a go of it. So their really are no real defined roles, anymore. It's a case of where everyone helps everyone. . But, if you have a job that pays you well enough, and your future wife agrees to remain at home and raise the children, then all the more power to you both. But it's likely she will work out until the kids are born. I think most children given a choice of whom they wish to look after them...Mom or a Caregiver..it'll be Mom. The kids definitely benefit. As long as everyone is happy and content, then I see no problem with that. The only thing you need to understand is, when raising a family...it takes two parents to do the job. A lot of flexibility, co-operation and teamwork is required. Don't be one of those men who feels that just because she's at home with the kids all day, that she is, in effect... 'not' working. She is doing the most important, hardest job, that a person can. Looking after and caring for the people (your kids) in your life... that you will love forever. She will need your help, at the end of the day.
Also, many women choose to go back into the workforce to after their children get older and are in school all day. That may be a compromise you will have to deal with. Many, may young women I know, do this. In fact, I did it myself. I made a point of staying home, with the kids until they were schoolage. I went back to work..part-time which eventually increased to full time. I think if one is too rigid in his expectations of roles here, and expects the 'little woman' to always stay home and never, ever work...you may have problems, down the road.. You will have to compromise and respect her eventual want to work and contribute. And why not? She should be empowering her life and future with the ability to earn her own income and retain her independent spirit. All women should do that-I think it's crucial. The days of the '50's'a are long gone...thank goodness! lol
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Although a family can be considered a team, nobody should be stuck doing one thing all the time. Life can be hectic. Suppose your wife is out, and the kids need to eat? What happens then? When you have a family, it's about working together to get things done, no matter who it is that's getting them done. As long as everyone does a little bit to contribute, it's not a big deal.
DV1
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