A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Growing up shy, I have never been a girl magnet. I generally fall into the "Nice Guy" category. I have been in a few relationships in my life, but nothing serious. I am uncomfortable making small talk, I am bald and wear glasses, so needless to say my social life is pretty non-existent. Girls just don't give me the time of day. I have led a single independent life thus far. Now I am 39, still a virgin, and really want to be in a loving relationship, so I joined an online dating service. I'm worried about revealing my inexperience to potential matches - I feel that honesty is the best policy, but how do I tell anyone without having them run the other way? It's like explaining a gap on my resume. I don't know why our society has to make such a big deal about being a virgin. Am I agonizing over nothing? Would it make any difference if I said that I lost it in college, but just haven't had sex since then? I think that's called involuntary celibacy...either explanation makes me look pathetic, but I don't know how to get past this. Any advice is appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): i wouldn't go advertising it on your profile or first date, but I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. If you are in a relationship and this comes up, she should understand if she really likes you. If not, then you probably don't want her anyways...
A
female
reader, oh dear  +, writes (22 November 2007):
I think that before embarking on a relationship, id look at the positve aspects of your self, you said you fell into a nice guy category- you dont just fall into that. I would imagine that you are kind, sensitive and funny list all the things you like about yourself. In that short outline of your problem i think you were negative about yourself a lot. I do believe that if you felt good about yourself every thing else would come naturallyBy the way There are a lot of sexy men who are bald with glassess.I dont think you have to tell anyone you meet that you are a virgin, its not always great to here your dates sexual history you dont have to lie, just go with the flow. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): there is a film - The 40 year old Virgin.
soz just wanted 2 respond 2: A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007)
no offence!
i dont think ders anything rong wid bein a virgin im sure it'll make ur 1st tym even more special xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): there is a film - The 40 year old Virgin. soz just wanted 2 respond 2: A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007)no offence! i dont think ders anything rong wid bein a virgin im sure it'll make ur 1st tym even more special xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): I know someone who's drop dead gorgeous and he's had girls chasing after him since he's a kid, but he's still a virgin being the adult man. What does that make him to be or not to be? All a know is, he's very talented and spends his time with family and friends and reads a lot of books. He's very clever and handsome and never short of female admirers. He's just not the type to go out there and mess about with women to proof that he's something. Being a women's magnet as he is, he's just not 'shallow'. Don't let the male ego get to you. All virgins are fine people like everyone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): they should make a film about this- the 39 year old virgin (soz just jking). Seriously don't worry- as others have said it isn't about looks but instead about personality and being a virgin will probably be seen as positive rather than negative.
Good luck and hope you find someone special soon,
xxxx
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A
male
reader, montuiiri +, writes (19 November 2007):
 heya.
i have found this website today and i must say from a responce i posted about chatting up girls it is fantastic. the replies are from genuine people.
anyway back to your topic, i know how you feel although i am 22,23 in 2 weeks. i am single and i always have been. so you can guess im a virgin too. i thought it was really embarasing to still be one at my age UNTIL recently chatting to girls online i said that i have never done nothing with a girl, and what was their responce. "Awwwww thas really nice that you have waited for the right person to lose it". which has made me feel a whole lot better about it. i am a shy guy and i wear glasses a bit too and i refer to your 'nice guy' category which is exactly what i feel too. i have a friend and he boost me alot because i say nice guys dont win BUT he has convinced me that they do.... in the end. what he said to me was that yes a girl might like a bad guy but once they get cheated on and treated rotten they realise that they would rather have a 'nice guy' that treats them well and loves them than someone that would mess them about. please just be yourself,honest and open. it is respected much more than pretending you are the stud who has been with lots of women.
All the best with your search! Also before i go, believe in yourself and respect yourself, because if you dont then nobody else will. its the best start you have to do (oh and listen to "the worlds greatest" by R Kelly)
Will
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Just wanted to say, I'm 35 and female and if I met a guy who was just older than me and still a virgin, because he hadn't met anyone that he wanted to be intimate with in that way (i.e. in the context of a relationship) I would think - what a great guy. I mean you could have paid for prostitutes, slept with women you didn't like whilst drunk all kinds of stuff. In my mind it says a lot more positive than negative about you that you are in this situation. As for your looks trust me - good manners are everything so just stop worrying about your looks. You are right and you should be honest with a woman - that is also a really important thing. A man that can be honest about something like that is gonna be a little more trustworthy than one who boasts he's slept with 20 women. I have known a lot of people who have had great success meeting people online so wish you luck and happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Hi Hunny,
Im with uncle phil here, It matters not what you look like, everyone has something attractive about them hunny and its whats on the inside that counts, I would not let this worry you as I see it as not a problem, If it is for some women then you really wouldnt want to be with someone who would judge you on this. If you believe in yourself then go by your heart as what to say. As a woman I would not feel any different towards you, Good luck and take care love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): dont get so worried about it
reveal all on your dating website Say ur a virgin and if u feel uncomfortable about it when you do meet a girl say this.....
Waiting for the right person.....
For some unknown reason it gets us everytime and trust me woman will prefer you for this fact
im 20 now and seem to be collecting virgins wanna be on my list lol xxxxxx
good luck hunny
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (19 November 2007):
Personality is so much more important than looks to most women. We want a man who is going to be kind and considerate far more than a six foot tall football player, who is selfish and incosiderate!!
And who said that just because you are bald and wear glasses you are unattractive?? Everyone is beautiful in their own right and there is someone special for everyone (or so I believe anyway).
I wouldn't be too worried about telling a woman you are still a virgin. I don't know anyone who would run away from that. Society puts too much emphasis on sex as the be all and end all of a relationship, but it's really not. If you find the right woman for you she won't be put off by the fact that you have never been intimate before, and will probably be flattered that you have chosen her as the special someone. Just wait until you know her before telling her, and I'm sure everything will be fine.
So many people just have sex for the sake of not being a virgin anymore and regret it forever. At least you haven't done that.
I wish you luck in your search for a soulmate. Take care.
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (19 November 2007):
 believe me woman go for personality rather than looks bbz, i no i do. you will meet a nice woman one day when you least expect it, just be confident about yourself but not too confident though. there is someone out there for everyone hun. if u need to talk mail me, have faith n be hopeful x
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (19 November 2007):
babes don't worry, one day you will meet a girl that will appreciate that you are still a virgin this sends out that you are a very decent guy and that you don't meet a girl and just want to jump into bed with her. You will meet a special girl one day, there is someone out there for everyone babes. hope my advice helps you, have faith bbz she is out there some where waiting for you!
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (19 November 2007):
babes don't worry, one day you will meet a girl that will appreciate that you are still a virgin this sends out that you are a very decent guy and that you don't meet a girl and just want to jump into bed with her. You will meet a special girl one day, there is someone out there for everyone babes. hope my advice helps you, have faith bbz she is out there some where waiting for you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I'm bald and wear glasses, and have been/have done for the last 25 years or so but I've never had any woman raise my looks as an issue as to whether I was fanciable or not, and I considered myself fairly successful as far as women were concerned. Personality is far more important to a woman than looks, whereas men tend to think the opposite way.
Think along the lines of 'I'ts not a bald head - it's a solar panel for a sex machine' or 'God only made a few perfect heads - the rest he covered with hair'.
I can imagine that there are quite a few women out there who would be only too pleased to show you what it's all about. In fact, I imagine they'd be lining up rather than running away!
Phil
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A
female
reader, maida42288 +, writes (19 November 2007):
i think thats giving off to much information why do you need to tell anybody that your a virgin. I say once you find that right girl and you can trust her then you tell her and if she really loves you then she wont care.I think it bothers you more then it would someone else. Sex is always a personal topic.
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