A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are recently married. I think things are going good, but I have a nagging concern about her that bothers me. We had a discussion about her old boyfriends, and she was nasty talking about 2, and a little I don't know, like, happy talking about 1 of them. I'm not sure that she married me for love or what. She really ripped into 2 of the guys. The one she said only had about a 4 1/2" penis, and the other she said had about a 6" penis, but was as thin as a finger. Then she talked about the other guy (who I think she still has a thing for), she said he was about 8" and really thick. She told me she went all crazy over his body every time they were together.I have about a 7 1/2" penis and am also thicker than average. I'm starting to think my wife is shallow and my penis size and our sex life is the only reason that we are together. I need much more than this. I don't want her to meet some other guy with a 'bigger' penis and leave me. Could this just be that she is a 'size queen' and only with me for the sex. I want to have kids together and everything, but I'm doubting the reasons she is with me.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 well here is how i see it, she began to talk about her exes but not wanting to make you feel bad she criticised them in a department she is sure you are secure in.
would you be happy if she loved all her exes-probably not
this is classic human in a new relationship behaviour
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 I fully agree with Bitterblue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): First of all, you are both very young, so you're going to have some growing up to do, hopefully you can do it together and really enjoy each other. Second, talking about ex's is NEVER a good thing...I'd get that out of the way once and for all, it sounds like it is just going to cause resentment and jealous. Do you two really know each other? It sure doesn't sound this way. I seriously doubt if she married you for your size. Start out slowly and get to know each other, discover each other. Don't focus on the size of you, or sex, or ex-boyfriends, but really take the time to know each other. I hope this works.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): You obviously rushed into marriage if you have such doubts. If you don't know your spouse sufficiently well, don't hurry into bringing up children, you must have a clearer idea of her priorities, likings and thinking before you can advance, so try to discover what you don't know or are uncertain of, come up with new topics of conversation, ask what is important to you and see how you connect ideatically. I suggest that you carry this on gently and gracefully, without panicking, to fortify your marriage you must discuss much more than you have until now, encourage her to speak about what she expects of a good husband and how she feels about you if you feel unsure, and try to direct her answers in the areas that concern you, for a start. It should not count so much if she loves you, but rather if she cares about you and is willing to invest in your relationship for the well being and joy of both. Why did you marry her, since we're on the subject? Did you just take a risk? Take time to reflect upon your marriage and if you have skipped this important phase of knowing each other properly before marriage, it is time to build this closeness now, from sharing more of your intimate thoughts and wishes, while each of you is treating the other with the care and respect he likes to receive in return, while learning new things about each other, and hopefully are pleasantly surprised and no major disagreements come up. Best of luck.
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