A
female
age
30-35,
*orkchop.xo
writes:Hi, I am in a very difficult situation. It all started 5 months ago when I met a guy and one thing led to another, and i figured it would be a one night stand, but he told me that night he didn't want to sleep around and I was the girl of his dreams. We were both pretty drunk, and I realize the alcohol was talking on all the sweet things he said. Either way, he called me like a few days later (after calling a wrong number at first quite funny actually) anyways we met up so i could return his hoodie, and he still wanted to see me and get to know me. I was really cautious because it was all a little hard to believe. All summer we hung out like 3-4 times a week and I would sleep over on weekends. We grew really fond of eachother, but once again i was still cautious and didn't really express my feelings, where as he would tell me "I like you more and more every time we hang out" and sweet nothings like that. One thing he did say in the very beginning was that he was not ready for a relationship, which I was okay with at first because I only liked him a little bit and I didnt want to rush into anything without getting to know him well first. So the summer came and gone and I thought everything was going well. I had to go back to school (college) and he continued to work. This is when the problems started to happen. He hated his job so it put him in a bad mood most of the time, I didn't see him that often because I played on the school basketball team as well as having 4 courses. We went from seeing eachother 3-4 times a week, to 4-5 times a month. This hurt me a lot but i understood that we both had new things we were doing, (he joined a gym) and didn't have as much time for eachother. I started to feel like I was always asking to see him and he was too busy. He did have to get up at 5am every morning and work till 6pm usually and then go to the gym. So I understood that he was tired and on top of that he hated what he was doing. So september went by and I was starting to feel a bit depressed. ( I had fallen in love with him at the end of august, and I wanted to make sure it wasnt just a summer romance so I waited to see how september would go before I told him. Now it's mid october and I am crazy in love with him but I can't seem to tell him. Beginning of september he had told me that he was crazy about me which I thought was a good sign. Then I noticed he was talking to his roommates friend (she's a girl, the roommate and the friend) at first I didn't care at all because i'm not one to get jealous. But then he started to say he was going to the casino/ with his friends but later when I asked how the casino was he would have a lame answer like for example once he said "we just went and drank and then came back" He said he went with just his brother, which I found weird because his brother doesn't have a car (he was visiting) and the guy i am seeing doesn't either. So I was just looking on facebook and I came across a bunch of pictures of him, his brother and that girl (the roommates friend) on her profile. There were a couple of them together but they looked fairly innocent. So I got mad that he didnt introduce me to his brother, but he introduced this girl, he said was his "friend" This is where I start getting jealous. We sort of had a heated talk about our feelings and I asked him if he was seeing her and he said no. But he also said that I shouldnt like him, that he is a dick and he doesnt deserve my time. Yet he still says he misses me and that he "always wants to know me, and sees me as a future gf" I'm in love with this boy and I don't know what to do... I believe him when he says he isn't seeing her, but why is he acting so suspicious lately? am I just paranoid? Also to add one more thing, I recently went bowling with him, and he was all over me acting like a boyfriend. Hugging me and holding me hand and cuddling, he even stood up and just looked at me gazing into my eyes and i went over to him and he wanted me to kiss him but it was a team event and so i didnt want to since he is not my boyfriend. I am confused with his actions, he says he isnt ready for a relationship because he needs to get his life together, (he's out of a job) and he's turning 24 in jan, and wants to own his own house by 25... yet he is having trouble making ends meet. He says that he cant make someone else happy until he is happy. Is he just using this "i need to get my life in order" as an excuse to keep me around? I know the whole "theres other fish in the sea" and "you're young, you have you're life ahead of you" but I have very strong feelings for this guy, and I have never felt so comfortable around someone before. Some thoughts from males and females would be great... from the guys if you have ever been in something like this if you could let me know if you think he's honest or if i'm just wasting my time. I do a lot for this guy like bring him socks to work, bringing him lunch or snacks, giving him massages, I'm pretty much a girlfriend and I am completely faithful, I guess I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. Anyways sorry about the extremely long message but I want to make sure everything is there. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, porkchop.xo +, writes (16 October 2008):
porkchop.xo is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just wanted to add that the entire 5 months we acted like we were a couple whenever we were together.
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