A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a little something on my mind, and just wanted to know if you had some advice. So I was at a party last night, and hooked up with a guy that goes to my school, and it didn't mean anything to me. We were both pretty drunk, and he couldn't really get it up, so I said stop and we got dressed and seperately went back to the party. He stayed on the couch without moving from it during the rest of the party. Is this because he was embarassed? I know that guys sometimes can't get it up because they're too drunk.. But my point is that this past week I can't stop thinking about, even though I don't even like the guy. I guess I'm just really scared of what people say about me, even though I just want to be one of those girls who don't care about what people say. And I've also since a couple of weeks, started doubting myself, thinking I'm ugly, and that nobody would ever like. Even though people have liked me before, and I've always had a lot of friends. I just want to get my confidence up again and go back to normal. I've never considered myself ugly before some stupid guy I once kissed at a party, told my friends I was ugly while he was drunk. That got me down... Hate being and feeling like this, like am I really that bad? So do you have any advice on what I can do to be happy with myself and also just live my life like I did before...
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 I think it is time for a boost of self esteem. Although we have all been drunk at parties, you were about to hook up with someone you didn't even like? I would start to ask yourself why you were doing that?
17 is a hard age, it is difficult to fit in and very hard to not take things to heart (I remember being that age). It will pass and soon enough you will meet an amazing person who likes you for you and thinks you are beautiful in every way...
In the meantime, please take some time to look after yourself, take time with your friends, don't doubt yourself and most importantly think about why you are getting drunk and hooking up at parites :)
Good luck sweetheart.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Stop accepting these negative thoughts. You are becoming worried what others think. In doing so you are judging your self worth by the view of others. There is reason why it's called self-worth, because it's how you view yourself. If you determine it by that of others, you are giving away this power to those who should not have it. When I was younger, and would get drunk, I was one who had trouble getting it up. That doesn't say anything about who I was with... only that I was too drunk. The same is true here with what happened at this party.
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