A
female
age
30-35,
*rueLoveWaits2016
writes:Due to me making the wrong choices w/the types of guys I date, I always have doubt of his interest in the back of my mind. My bf came from vacation and I have asked to see him. Before anyone tears me into pieces about him being tired, overwhelmed etc, if he said he couldn't see me due to those things, I would back off and understand.I asked to see him after work, this convo happened in the morning. There was no mention on his part about seeing me until a later this evening and only after I brought it up. Our messages were just normal convo and he only seemed enthusiastic about seeing me after I asked. Idk it seems fake to me cause if he was honestly that excited, he would have mentioned right? Am I overanalyzing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 September 2017):
 So I did get some details wrong ( you were the one at work, not he ) but I maintain that you are overreacting.
Of course, just based on this single episode. If he has a track record of blowing you off, neglecting you, standing you up, then I your concern is wararnted.
Otherwise, it sounds all pretty regular to me.
He came back from his trip, called you in the morning ( and also later in the day ), you asked him to meet up, and he accepted ]]*enthusiastically*- where 's the big deal ?
Because he did not pounce on you the moment you were off work ? Well, maybe you pounced first :) Maybe he was going to ask you, as soon as he had rested a few hours, or checked his plans for the day, or attended to his personal stuff. Or, he was going to ask you the day after.
I know it sounds more passionate and romantic if someone who's just back from a trop goes all " OmyGod, OmyGod, whereareyouImustseeyouIcantwaittoseeyou " but in practice it seldom works like that . Unless there's some kind of obstacle ( people are in an LDR, or they are a clandestine couple, etc. ) which makes meeting up difficult and every moment together precious and irreplaceable.
Otherwise, contrariously to popular belief, people who are in a solid, secure relationship don't need to see ther partner in the way a junk needs the next fix. The love is there, unvaried and unchallenged- and it will be there in the morning, in the evening, the day after, even a few days after- and in the meantime life goes on , and one can give himself the time to ( empty their suitcases, take a nap, have some downtime at home, etc.etc. ), knowing that it's not a matter of hours that will make a difference in feelings. Maybe he is just less anxious than you, not less interested.
Any reason for your being so on tenterhooks ? Are you afraid that he might have misbehaved during his trip and can't wait to grill him ?:)
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (6 September 2017):
TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI finished work in the early afternoon and he didn't have work that day. The weird thing is he didn't mention anything about getting together until I mentioned wanting to see him late in the evening.
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (6 September 2017):
You are completely over-analyzing. After a hard day of work, people usually are very tired for doing anything else, so if he fakes his enthusiasm, don't worry. He does wants to see you, he is just too tired, but he is willing to make the sacrifice of stop resting in order to be with you. Every relationship takes a lot of work and effort, so let him know when he will say you NO. If he wasn't interested in seeing you, he would have just said NO.Having him say a YES, even if internally is tired to death, is still a YES.We all men do that with our girlfriends. We are tired as hell, yet we do out best to be with our girls, because we want to.Just RELAX, and let things happen. Also, respect him when he says NO. Work can be exhausting at times.Best luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2017):
 Yeah you are over reacting here big time. Give the guy a chance. Am sure he is looking forward to seeing you. Try not over think the little things, they can make you paranoid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2017): I second CindyCares opinion. You are over-analyzing.
When returning from vacation, you're recovering from the trip home. Then you are getting your life back in order after coming-down off Cloud Nine. Mentally, returning to reality flips you upside down sometimes. You may not have been the first thing on his to-do and see; but more importantly, you're in his heart. Maybe you didn't give him time to say what his plans are; being so quick to rush to judgement.
This attitude is a subtle hint you're concerned about how much fun he had and what he did without you! Well, if he left on a sour note with you, he had a fabulous time!
I always caution people on prophecy and mind-reading. Sorry is all you can be, when you're 100% wrong. Then you have to repair the damage after pissing-off your lover. If you're right; then maybe you're insecure because your relationship was on the rocks before he left.
Suspicion often leads to sabotage, sweetheart!
So you get to presume what his emotions should be? Well, if you give him attitude instead of a warm welcome, feel free to predict his reaction to that too!
My best friend has just returned from Kuwait. We've only had time to text each other. He's busy, I'm busy; but we haven't seen each other in over a month. I didn't contact him when I knew he just returned home; because he had to sleep, unpack, and deal with jet-lag. He has to readjust to time-zones and readjust to his own living-space. Everyone he knows wants to know about his trip back home, or his trip returning to America. We all just want to talk talk talk.
I know from personal-experience he needs time to collect himself. We were in-touch the whole time he was away. There was no dead-air between us. The anticipation to see him has me very excited and happy he's back. Period! And he's just a friend, not my boyfriend. I glad he's back and have no room for bad thoughts. Maybe he has talked to others first. Who the f*ck cares?!!!
Erase all the bad assumptions from your mind. Give him a warm home-coming. No matter what you're thinking right now. I trust he is very glad to be back, and he missed you. Just give him a chance to recover himself. I can't wait to hug my friend and welcome him back. I will judge how happy he is to see me when we are face to face. Why don't you do the same?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (6 September 2017):
You are overanalyzing. Or maybe I did not get the timing right !
If the conversation happened this morning and you are going to get together later this evening,... when he was supposed to ask you / see you BEFORE than that , if he works ? " Did you mean " After work " as in, he ends work at 5 pm, and at 5.10 he must be on his way to see you ?!
Relax. One can be enthusiastic and thrilled to see you again, AND also able to postpone that pleasure for a few hours during which he can shower / feed the cat / check his mail or whatever .
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