A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im 20 and ive fallen for a friend who has just told me he feels the same way but i am very self conscious about my weight and this combined with the very embarrassing fact that ive only slept with one guy and that was 2 1/2 years ago are holding me back from making a go of things with him!! im worried hes going to be repulsed by my weight and cellulite and that i'll be rubbish at anything sexual because its been so long. He is a lovely guy and is not shallow at all (hes got a bit of a stomach on him which he admits to but wont let it hold him back) What can i do?? please help me, he wont wait forever for me to decide if i want to make of a go of things with him but im scared of revealing myself because i have serious body issues (i have a phobia of mirrors and cover up any photographs with me in them) what should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Hey! I know just how horrible it can feel to be insecure about yourself. I know i am, i feel sick to my stomach just to look at myself. But if this guy has already fallen for you, let him know how you are feeling and he will be more loving to you. Its very liberating to be lovd for who you are. It took me a while to accept that it was possible but once you do youll be so much happier. As for the sex part, if you guys really like each other then do what feels natural and youll both love it. Experience works both ways, sometimes it can be helpful, but if you are doing what another guy liked, you can get it totally wrong with your new guy...the safest is to go with the flow and th feeligns of the moment!
Good luck with everything!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Hey! I know just how horrible it can feel to be insecure about yourself. I know i am, i feel sick to my stomach just to look at myself. But if this guy has already fallen for you, let him know how you are feeling and he will be more loving to you. Its very liberating to be lovd for who you are. It took me a while to accept that it was possible but once you do youll be so much happier. As for the sex part, if you guys really like each other then do what feels natural and youll both love it. Experience works both ways, sometimes it can be helpful, but if you are doing what another guy liked, you can get it totally wrong with your new guy...the safest is to go with the flow and th feeligns of the moment!
Good luck with everything!!
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (19 March 2007):
 This guy has already fallen for you, what can you be so worried about?!! He knows your personality and likes you! Seeing as you two are already friends, he is probably aware of your insecurities, and has no problem with what you do. You say he's not shallow, so why do you think he'll have any kind of problem with your body!
Just go for it, sugar! You don't have to go jumping into bed with him immediately, but if you're still really nervous about it, then you should talk to him about it; he'll be able to comfort you and you never know, he may feel the same about himself too!
Aside from this, are you sure that there aren't any underlying causes of your extreme dislike for your body? I think it would be really good for you (and your future relationships) if you went and found help from a counsellor. Sometimes it is just a release to sound these fears to another person, and they can probably help you raise your self esteem & work through your problems, hopefully creating a happier you!
Good luck & best wishes.
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