A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there .. ive been with my gf for about 4 months now .. and i just realized that a former bf of hers who i know quite well and have never really liked him.. used her and im REALLY mad because she seemed really upset .. and im jus really mad at him and i want to 'kill' him .. what should i do ...thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
You need to forget about it, like everyone else here has pretty much said. Not only because of what has already been mentioned, but because the more you bring it up, the more she's going to think about that crappy time in her life and the more she's going to have negative thoughts running through her mind. Aren't her feelings more important than your's in this instance? Put her before yourself and just be the best boyfriend you can be for her.
Okay, so *how* exactly do you get over it? What's done is done and you need to keep thinking to yourself that you can't change what happened. You also need to realize that no matter what you say, it's not going to change the fact that this guy was and is possibly still an assh*le.
Do you mind if I ask what your point in wanting to "kill" him would be? Because he's already lost someone who is obviously a great catch if you care about her so much. Once he sees that she's happy, he'll probably feel like crap anyway.
And if he doesn't, who cares? The point is that SHE is happy with YOU. You are obviously a very caring person and treat her very well - that is better than saying or doing anything to her ex - period. Trust me, I've been in that sort of situation before, and anything you do to contact the ex in any way will most likely just *completely* stress her out. Let the past remain in the past.
Take care.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (9 July 2007):
 I agree with flower girl, forget about it. I know its hard and what her ex did was wrong. I don't think it will help matters if you went and hit him. Put it behind you and be there for your girlfriend.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (9 July 2007):
 there is nothing u can do. she told u about her ex as she wants to get closer to u it would be unfair to go hit her ex which he probably needs it but it is silly even if u r angry. don't worry bout it just don't be another guy that used her.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Forget about it, thats the best advice, like you said you have never liked him so it is even easier for you to be angry with him about the way he treated her.
The best thing you can do is make sure you treat her well and be there for her.
Take care.xx.
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