A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just come back from a family wedding and i am so lonely as when i was taking photos of the first dance the bride and groom invited everyone up and i had no one to dance with. I am painfully shy with girls and have only had 1 serious relationship. I am stressed at work and i am sure im on the edge of depression. Please Help Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (27 April 2007):
 Okay, at a family wedding there has to be an older person (mom? aunt?) whom you feel comfortable asking to dance.
You do that for four reasons: (1) dancing is fun, and dancing with a "safe" person is good practice for learning to dance (2) if you look like you're having fun, then you'll attract people who want to have fun too (3) girls think it's sweet that you're looking out for your mom/aunt (4) and it'll make your mom/aunt happy, which has nice side benefits.
For the same reasons, if you can't find a safe "older" person, maybe there was a much younger "niece" you could ask (someone who wanted to dance but was young enough so that people would go: "awww how cute" when you asked her.
This was a family wedding! You won't find a "safer" place to try this out.
As with everything else in life, you need to practice asking people to dance. Don't worry if you look silly -- everyone else looks silly too. Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides, you'll always come up short. Relax and have fun.
A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (27 April 2007):
 Awww! Having no one to dance with at a wedding isn't the be all and end all (at least it's better than dancing with the 50 something lady with the moustache!)
My other half is painfully shy himself, it took for me to make the first move! Don't pressure yourself into getting a relationship, it's going to be like putting a sticky plaster on a gashing wound!
Work on your self confidence by going out with friends (I'm sure you have some, somewhere, you seem a nice enough guy!). You mentioned work, and that you are stressed out, what is the matter exactly? It might be why you are experiencing a lack of confidence.
Email me, and we'll have a chat.
Nutty xxx
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