A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years and just recently (about 6 months ago) I've started to become really insecure. I am getting more and more insecure everyday and its for little things like if he says no to something that i ask him. If I asked him to talk to me on the phone and he couldn't because his family was around and they would hear him if he talked and would suspect him then I would get really mad at him and think that he doesn't love me or does not want to talk to me and is making excuses. I know that that's not true yet at the time I think of all these things and just get mad at him for that.This happens many times a day and I don't really have a reason to think this way because I am his first girlfriend and he never looks at any other girl in that way or says shes hot or anything. I know that hes 110% devoted to me. His religion is a really big issue to me because hes very religious and we are of different religions. He says his religious rules are the most important thing in the world to him. This gives me another reason to be insecure and I always get mad at him for that because I am thinking that his religion is more important to him than me. I get really insecure about that every single day. I just get depressed thinking that his religion is more important and that he doesn't love me or care about me. I know this isn't true but every time he prays and religion is mentioned I get really depressed. I think i just hate the fact that something else is more important to him. But i know that he loves me more than anything else and cares about me the most. But how do I get over my insecurities about his religion? It's really killing me and I want to stop being like this. Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i have been insecure since the past 6 months. It started out slowly and now things are just too bad. We fight everyday and it's usually for the same reason (religion).I don't know what I can do to make my relationship work. We are on a break right now but I don't know if that will help or make things worse.
His family does not know about us because he's not allowed to date so I understand when he's saying he can't talk but for some reason I still take it the wrong way and that is my own fault.
I do have insecurities about my looks and not having many close friends and etc. I wasn't always insecure about these things but lately I have been. I'm trying to make myself feel confident by focusing on my looks and making new friends.
A
female
reader, visione  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Religion is something you cannot change from a person, and if it bothers you that much you should just cut your losses early rather than late. That is something that can cause a high amount of incompatibility if you do not accept his ways and he does not accept yours. But most importantly, you should be less selfish - you are a priority to him right? (He spends time with you and doesn't blow you off, correct?) But you have to understand that although you are one of his priorities, you are not his #1 priority. It's not healthy to be his #1 priority all the time - people should also have time for family, friends, education/work, and in his case, religion. Do you feel like you sacrifice time for him and he does not give anything back?
His excuse for not talking on the phone is a bit odd, does his family not know you? Has he always used this excuse?
Insecurities are usually born out of the person feeling insecure, not because their partner is giving any less. Why have you felt insecure lately? Are things going alright in your life aside from him? Need some more information. :)
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