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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: It is about parenting... What is the best thing to do, if a grown son, over 20 years of age, does not want to take responsibility for his own life. He drinks, doing drugs and always ends up in some trouble. That means he gets sick, and broke from his lifestyle, so he forces me to get him back to my home, and help him to recover. Than he screws up again.So, I have no heart to leave him in the cold, but I'm sick and tired of seeing him doing this to me..So I just saw of the story of the boy who killed people in the mall, because he was disturbed emotionally. And they blamed her, to give up on his son. Dr Phil even said "a mother never gives up on his child" Was he right? Can we really blame parents, for their kids choices? How many crazy kids are out there who will never kill people? It's just chance, Now I have been trying everything, with no results. He was seen by many psychologists, he got thru on many therapies. If I left him on his own, he can be potentially dangerous...Now, what am I supposed to do? Give up and tell him, I'm no longer here or safety net? And then, he just keeps getting hurt, possibly hurt others...? Well what can I do? Should I tell him I'm not helping any more, or I should just let him ruin my life? What is the the right thing to do? Is there a chance that sometimes parents just can't help?
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (10 January 2009):
 You can still be his mom without letting him ruin your life.
Set boundaries.
He may come and go many many times before he finds his way.
I have so little family left, that I also feel you should never turn your back on family. BUT, you've got to get help for yourself. You can't change someone else- but you can change your reaction to them.
No one can ruin your life-only you can.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): I am also a parent and I love my daughter with all of my heart. There is a difference between helping your child and enabling your child, and you need to recognize the difference and help when the situation calls for it and refuse to enable. WHO CARES WHAT DR. PHIL SAYS OR THINKS! He is not God. He is not YOU. He is not in YOUR situation. You do what is best for you, your family, your own sanity. I will pray for you and your family. Be strong.
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